I love being spontaneous! I do... I wish I can be that kindda person all the time! You know... the type of person who gets a thought and acts upon it... without hesitation... whatever the outcome is... or would be!
It's not being crazy or immature... it's just breaking out of the hectic routine and a mental process that kills the fun of life! Calculating risks and outcomes and regret!
I like being spontaneous... HOWEVER, every single time I try to be I get this VOICE... the inner voice... and man as much as I love it 'cause saves my ass sometimes... I seriously hate that it kills my ability to react on trigger!
Sometimes I wanna say something, make a move, break rules, let go of limitations... but this VOICE jumps in every single time with a list of inner thoughts that ruin it for me...
Are you sure you wanna do that?
Are you sure you won't regret it later?
But you hate regret?
What about how you look?
What would people think?
And these are the simple generic questions! Sometimes the VOICE gets pretty tough on me!
You know what... the VOICE is important... the VOICE "mostly" kicks in in the right time... stops me from doing stupid and ridiculous stuff... but sometimes I wish the VOICE would give me a break! It's restricting and limiting... It makes me doubt my gut feeling, and that pisses me off! And my main problem with it is that it's very very very influential and manages to change my mind almost every time...
And even more... the battle between my normal voice (completely driven by emotions) and my inner VOICE can be hectic sometimes... particularly when it goes on and on and on and on for days or weeks or even longer... and trust me it's a strong battle!
The type of battles that make you stay up all night... and daydream all day! The kind that make you fidgety and gloomy and frustrated and mentally occupied.
So currently I'm stuck between two strong emotions... one that loves the VOICE for kicking in sanity in me at the right time... and one that hates it for the very same reason!
It's not being crazy or immature... it's just breaking out of the hectic routine and a mental process that kills the fun of life! Calculating risks and outcomes and regret!
I like being spontaneous... HOWEVER, every single time I try to be I get this VOICE... the inner voice... and man as much as I love it 'cause saves my ass sometimes... I seriously hate that it kills my ability to react on trigger!
Sometimes I wanna say something, make a move, break rules, let go of limitations... but this VOICE jumps in every single time with a list of inner thoughts that ruin it for me...
Are you sure you wanna do that?
Are you sure you won't regret it later?
But you hate regret?
What about how you look?
What would people think?
And these are the simple generic questions! Sometimes the VOICE gets pretty tough on me!
You know what... the VOICE is important... the VOICE "mostly" kicks in in the right time... stops me from doing stupid and ridiculous stuff... but sometimes I wish the VOICE would give me a break! It's restricting and limiting... It makes me doubt my gut feeling, and that pisses me off! And my main problem with it is that it's very very very influential and manages to change my mind almost every time...
And even more... the battle between my normal voice (completely driven by emotions) and my inner VOICE can be hectic sometimes... particularly when it goes on and on and on and on for days or weeks or even longer... and trust me it's a strong battle!
The type of battles that make you stay up all night... and daydream all day! The kind that make you fidgety and gloomy and frustrated and mentally occupied.
So currently I'm stuck between two strong emotions... one that loves the VOICE for kicking in sanity in me at the right time... and one that hates it for the very same reason!
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