Well, the first time it’s not really a mistake… I do something thinking it would turn out well and then it doesn’t… and then times passes by and the same thing starts over and I still do it!
Some people I’ve given them enough chances, some stuff I know they won’t work for me… yet I go back and talk to them again or do it again!
I know something makes me feel like crap… so why the hell do I put myself through the same thing over and over again… I don’t know!
The only smart answer I can come up with is that I am an idiot!
I really wish I’d stop doing that! I think the bigger problem has to do with me being able to tell myself no! A plain and simple NO! How hard is that? UFF!
I mean it’s only idiotic to do same crap over and over again expecting the outcome to be different!
I don’t blame the people… I don’t blame the circumstances! I blame me… I’ve been there and done that… so why do it again! May be deep down I hope things would be different! Only I know it won’t be!
I previously said I trusted my gut feelings… and they failed me massively! So maybe there are certain stuff and certain people I should just give up about! Some things won't change and I need to accept that and deal with it!
Maybe it has to do with my biggest problem ever… my inability to let go! UF UFF UFFF! I’m really angry at me!!!
People should be moving forward! And starting the same stuff over will just put me back to places I’d rather leave and never get back! It's like I'm moving backwards! And that just sucks!
And I hate it 'cause I then end up feeling like crap! And I've had enough of feeling like crap! I've been saturated with crap as a matter of fact!!
My idiocy is killing me!
-sighs-
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