My Pre- Jan. 25th Fears...

WARNING: content of this post is naive, superficial and would piss off most political activists.... I acknowledge this and apologize for it, so please don't attack! 

So a year from Jan. 25 and the entire revolutionary road we've been travelling on in Egypt... I look back and think if this revolution has bough us any good! And unfortunately my answer is NO! As much as I would like to think of the so many positive things this revolution has brought upon us; such as freedom, hope and a boost optimism; I would still have to pass!

On the other hand... all I see is dead people, people living with lifetime cruel disabilities, no safety, messed up tourism, a dull tomorrow and my screwed UP social lief! And this post is dedicated to the last point with all the ignorance and simplicity that this sentence carries.

So ever since the so called Jan 25th Revolution my social life has been going a downward slope. My parents have been on a panic frenzy... where any unnecessary road trip (in their wise opinion) has become a taboo. If it's not work or a must go "homework" outing... then most probably they prefer that I stay at home.

Suddenly 8 pm has become late hour... any dark hour is after curfew. Any "outing" that is not in my home zone is simply far. I've forgotten how Mohandesin, Zamalek and Tahrir look like. Suddenly these places have been restricted to "business meetings" only... and trust me if they can ask me to pass on these too, they would have done it!

Going out after work is a "no, no" because it's dark already... going out on weekends is usually done in day light.

Knowing that my friends are out late and want me to join has become a burden. Let alone internal traveling and a wedding or engagement.

My list of 101 excuses of how to skip an outing because it's an unsafe and my parents would freak out has become obvious!

My age and curfew are suddenly having an inverse relationship! And trust me that's not fun! Let alone saying that I have a curfew in first place (but that is something we can discuss later)!

My life is summarized into: work, business meetings, the mall, a birthday, a wedding, the doctor, university, or a funeral because these are the must haves of life... plus a few random outings here and there (and by there I mean a far awayyyyy there) to be honest. Anything else would need debate, discussion and comprise from me, my friends and the universe probably!

Everything has become unsafe! And they do hold some sanity in their argument, I give them that! However I'd have say 85% of it is simply freaking out! But to them, better safe than sorry! And to me, I've chosen to at least buy my own peace of mind and roll with their game! 

My social life has been screwed up... thanks to this revolution. It's honestly annoying me to the bones. If there was a positive trade off in return... I would have seen it and said "okie, my social life got screwed up for a cause and a good reason!" But seriously... I don't see any and I'm just annoyed! Sorry to say! 

So we're almost a year away since Jan. 25th, 2011... and we're all crossing our fingers with what to expect regarding what will happen on the so called Revolution Anniversary. I hope things settle down cause this isn't the life is signed up for... I support the political cause but this really isn't the plan I had for my life... I hope the coming Jan. 25th doesn't screw my life up even more!

So my hopes for the new revolutions are: to get back the security I previously took for granted and gain back my social life!


~ I've warned you! 

GIRL in Egypt...

So, let me start by saying this post is not a generalization. BUT at least it is a representation of ME and a few friends I know...

I've realized that as a girl in Egypt, our culture really deprives me from living the life of my dreams. Perhaps this is not the perfect timing to discuss this issue, however, the current situation in Egypt has really driven me to get out these thoughts on paper. Hence, to explain to you what I mean, I'm using the revolution in Egypt as an example.

I really wanted to experience going to Tahrir Square during the January 25 Revolution and my parents decided it is not safe for me as a girl to go. A whole revolution took place in Egypt and it is as if I was in a completely different country. I will not lie or kid myself, most of my desire to go was pushed by curiosity the first time. I wanted to know what Tahrir was all about. I wasn't really upset when I missed going because we were busy discovering what was going on. We had no clue where we were heading. We had a lot to keep us busy and may be I wasn't too sure being in Tahrir was really effective or that it would bring about change!

However, today, I really have a strong urge to go, for a cause, because I really want to say that nothing has really changed, that we're still where we are, just a different disguise. Because I'm sick and tired of what is going on, Egypt is moving from one disaster into another and we're really being treated like fools! Because I really want to have say... because I hate feeling like I'm passive. I want to be like one of these girls in the pictures!

And AGAIN my parents would never let me go! It's as if going would bring them a heart attack, or I'm insane to ask for it, like I'm kidding, it won't happen in a million years! And AGAIN it's like I'm in a different country, like Tahrir is somewhere else! I can't even imagine or visualize the experience. I feel detached from reality and what's happening in my country. I want to feel the adrenaline rush that comes with being in Tahrir Square. I want to expereince what it is like to fight for what I believe in and want. I want to be proactive and participate! And since I have a cause this time, I'm honestly pissed off that I'm stuck at home! It's annoying! I seriously feel restricted.

I mean my life is going on perfectly well as if nothing is happening and people are dying for a cause less than 30 kilometers away! Don't I at least deserve to witness that! A simple right I suppose, to see the change in my country that's making history. Think about it, years from now my kids are studying history and they ask me: Mom where you when all this happened? What were you doing? And my answer will be:  Oh dear, since I'm a woman, I was on the couch watching the news! ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDING ME!?

Not just that, you think when you grow up and be independent you get to have a say in the life you run for yourself. Let me tell you this is a load of crap! You, as a girl, probably NEVER get independent in this messed up culture!  I'm a real life witness to girls of different ages; older and younger than me and their parents are not allowing them to go as well! Not only that, I know married women whom their husbands are not letting them go either! Even more aggravating, our male friends think it's funny that we want to go and participate in Tahrir! They think we can't run for our lives, that we should go ONLY when things are chilled and fun! I think the pictures on top are a serious example that not all girls go to Tahrir Square to party, brag about being there or take profile pictures! So let me ask: Seriously What the HELL? 

This is just ONE example! You can really apply this to any decision in our life. Our parents, culture, friends, husbands... or WHOEVER really restrict us from doing what we want! What ever it is, you name it, we need to get their approval first, just because we're women. What we work, the places we go, the way we talk, what we say, the friends we have, the clothes we wear, where we travel, when we travel... practically everything is restricted! It's retarded! Seriously as if I'm living someone else is life! If I'm given the choice, I'd run my life a completely different way! 

Sometimes I even hope I never give birth to girls in this culture because it is really a killer!

So let me ask... in this country, in this culture WHEN do I get to do what I want? When do I live the life I want? If I have to keep getting the approval of my parents till I'm married, even if I have to wait till I'm 40 and then I have to wait to get the approval of my husband, if I get married; WHEN does what I want kick in? When do I get to have a say in MY own life! 

~Sigh!