I Want A Dog…

I’ve always wanted a dog… but lately I want a dog even more. When I come to think about it, I realized I want a dog ‘cause I want a real friend…

Honestly… humans have always proved to me that they are a terrible investment… you keep working really hard to making things go well… not just in relationships, even friendships and then BOOM, it turns out like a major FLOP! I dunno, they always manage to disappoint you…

When I’ve come to think about my true and honest friends over the past while, I realized they’re only two… the books I read and my laptop… even my laptop not so much ‘cause it get me in touch with people… and I honestly sometimes just want to be left alone…

So I really just want a dog… I want to travel AWAY with my dog... just me, my dog, a couple of books and the beach! AWAY AND ALONE! Seriously, I’m sure he’d be more loyal, understanding and compassionate!

UFF!

I’m sick of getting disappointed at people… seriously sick! It hurts and it sucks! Honestly! UFF!

I put in too much effort, time and emotions into being a good friend and then something happens along the way and I realize I have no one to count on, no one who really gets me, no one who really cares…

I put in a lot and it turns out that rather than people appreciating it... they are annoyed! Seriously... people are not worth it!

I'm sick of counting on the wrong people... I'm sick of trusting people who turn out to be unworthy of it... I'm sick of believing in people... I'm sick of exposing myself to people who will hurt me... I'm sick of people who don't see except the bad side in me... I'm sick of people not valuing me enough...I'm sick of giving too much and seriously getting nothing in return... I'm sick of people in general!

And I honestly hate myself for letting such people get to me and hurt me. I'm sick of it! It makes me hate myself for caring too much! It makes me hate myself for giving a damn! UFF!

I give people a second chance... they abuse it AND turn it against me! It is honestly ridiculous!

I HONESTLY feel like an idiot... and I hate myself for caring too much and for letting people take advantage of me this way!

I hate that they completely throw me outside my comfort zone and make me rant the way I'm ranting!

And it's funny they think 'cause I let it go by once or twice or even TEN times... they're gonna be able to do it over and over and over again! As if I exist to get screwed by them! But what they don't know is that everything has a freakin' end to it! I come to a point where I've really had enough! I have had enough of taking crap from others!

Maybe I have high expectations in humans because I’d be willing to do so much… and then I’m surprised with a little in return… but if people don't appreciate it and aren't willing to do anything in return... I'm done!

They’re just not worth the investment… and I’m sick of it… I’ve come to a point where I no longer care anymore… it’s like whatever happens, happens.... whoever wants to be a good friend can be a good friend and who ever doesn’t care… hell with him or her!

I'm seriously just blabbing right now, but NO words can actually express the rage I'm in or how hurt I am!

I really just want a dog… I really need to find someone, anyone, any creature who is loyal.

UFF!