Takes Something, Gives Something...

So life.. clearly and obviously doesn't give us everything we want. And ya.. sometimes we feel like nothing is going right.

However if we actually take time to realize... life isn't so unfair after all. I know I'm contradicting every other miserable post I've written... But fact is when life takes something, it gives you another.

I've lately been going through some dark and twisted phase. In the same time... God has sent me two guarding angels to be there for me every step of the way. Usually, if that had happened to me, I would have been absorbed in misery and sadness and even grief.


INSTEAD... 
I've really been blessed with two amazingly supportive, fun and understanding friends who are with me day in and out, morning and night, at work, outside, on the phone, on bbm, on Twitter... 24/7 distracting me, telling me that it's not the end of the world, that I deserve better and that things will get better.  It's like God sent them to me right before my problem so they can help me get through with it. 

They even make me laugh in my most difficult moments. Today I can't believe I laughed this much. The none stop kind of laughter. This would have never happened... I've been me for a while and I pretty much know I would have been sinking in depression, hating everyone and everything. I would have been crying and excluding myself on the side!

I can't explain how much I'm glad with this friendship and how much I truly value it... but I can honestly say if it weren't for them these days would have been unbearable. True I am upset and down from the way things may have turned out to me... but seriously it's going a lot better than I had expected. In the middle of all this, one of my hardest moments ever, I'm able to see something positive! 

Yesterday they got my an engraved bracelet that read: "May your days all be blessed with the presence of an angel watching over you!"

Ladies, you are my angels.

It may seem like a 6th grade corny best friends for ever necklace kind of thing to do. But it means the world to me.

Thanks! I mean it!

So ya life may take something but it sure does give another. It may take something that is replaceable but it gives you something that is for keeps.

Booba and Amy... you sure are for keeps!

I Want A Dog…

I’ve always wanted a dog… but lately I want a dog even more. When I come to think about it, I realized I want a dog ‘cause I want a real friend…

Honestly… humans have always proved to me that they are a terrible investment… you keep working really hard to making things go well… not just in relationships, even friendships and then BOOM, it turns out like a major FLOP! I dunno, they always manage to disappoint you…

When I’ve come to think about my true and honest friends over the past while, I realized they’re only two… the books I read and my laptop… even my laptop not so much ‘cause it get me in touch with people… and I honestly sometimes just want to be left alone…

So I really just want a dog… I want to travel AWAY with my dog... just me, my dog, a couple of books and the beach! AWAY AND ALONE! Seriously, I’m sure he’d be more loyal, understanding and compassionate!

UFF!

I’m sick of getting disappointed at people… seriously sick! It hurts and it sucks! Honestly! UFF!

I put in too much effort, time and emotions into being a good friend and then something happens along the way and I realize I have no one to count on, no one who really gets me, no one who really cares…

I put in a lot and it turns out that rather than people appreciating it... they are annoyed! Seriously... people are not worth it!

I'm sick of counting on the wrong people... I'm sick of trusting people who turn out to be unworthy of it... I'm sick of believing in people... I'm sick of exposing myself to people who will hurt me... I'm sick of people who don't see except the bad side in me... I'm sick of people not valuing me enough...I'm sick of giving too much and seriously getting nothing in return... I'm sick of people in general!

And I honestly hate myself for letting such people get to me and hurt me. I'm sick of it! It makes me hate myself for caring too much! It makes me hate myself for giving a damn! UFF!

I give people a second chance... they abuse it AND turn it against me! It is honestly ridiculous!

I HONESTLY feel like an idiot... and I hate myself for caring too much and for letting people take advantage of me this way!

I hate that they completely throw me outside my comfort zone and make me rant the way I'm ranting!

And it's funny they think 'cause I let it go by once or twice or even TEN times... they're gonna be able to do it over and over and over again! As if I exist to get screwed by them! But what they don't know is that everything has a freakin' end to it! I come to a point where I've really had enough! I have had enough of taking crap from others!

Maybe I have high expectations in humans because I’d be willing to do so much… and then I’m surprised with a little in return… but if people don't appreciate it and aren't willing to do anything in return... I'm done!

They’re just not worth the investment… and I’m sick of it… I’ve come to a point where I no longer care anymore… it’s like whatever happens, happens.... whoever wants to be a good friend can be a good friend and who ever doesn’t care… hell with him or her!

I'm seriously just blabbing right now, but NO words can actually express the rage I'm in or how hurt I am!

I really just want a dog… I really need to find someone, anyone, any creature who is loyal.

UFF!