LOVE.... Is Everywhere!

Once we hear the word "love," we mostly probably get mushy, gushy feelings. We envision flowers and hear humming. We're tempted to say "awwww!" We see a couple hand in hand at the beach...

And despite the fact that this scenery is mind blowing-ly nice and a dream come true to most of us, I got to say that it is degrading to "love."

Love is a lot more than a guy a girl... love is not just romance, love songs and roses. We've become manipulated by the books we read and the movies we see that feed into our brains that if you don't have a significant other you are not loved.

I often fall into this trap.

However, gladly, I've recently learned that there is a lot more to love... I've opened my eyes and heart to feel love... love that we are granted by so many people yet we chose to look at the half empty glass of water because no boy is down on one knee claiming his love to you.

Feeling the love and appreciation of people around you is a blessing. A blessing you don't realize, one that you take for granted until it really shines under your eyes... Love that is strong enough to replace the void you thought you had in your heart. Love is best when you realize you are loved... when you realize that the people you live with and see everyday care... that they value and appreciate you. That although they don't bring you roses everyday, deep within you mean something to them. It is best when it comes when you least expect it, from those we think they can't show affection.

Love is the little gestures that people around you make to show affection. Going to church just to pray for you! Calling you to wish you luck on a important day for you! Buying you breakfast! Making time for you! Smiling at you! Popping their head everyday in the morning to say good morning! Calling you just to say hello! Giving you a random hug! Teaching you something! Investing in you! Making sure you know that you will be missed! Writing you a note! Tagging you in a childhood picture! Letting you know you're important!

Love isn't just about the prince or princess you're waiting for. It's not about a romantic movie, a love letter or a late night romantic SMS.  Love is a lot more bigger than that... a lot more stronger... a lot more respectable. Love is in eye of each one who cares about you. Everyone who appreciates you. Everyone who is willing to make time for you. Everyone praying for you. Everyone wishing you well. It your parents, your siblings, your kids, your neighbours, your friends, your colleagues, your clients, the seller at your everyday supermarket and coffee place you go to...

Love is everywhere...
We are all loved some way.... we just need to open our eyes and heart to see it!

Love you all :)

Takes Something, Gives Something...

So life.. clearly and obviously doesn't give us everything we want. And ya.. sometimes we feel like nothing is going right.

However if we actually take time to realize... life isn't so unfair after all. I know I'm contradicting every other miserable post I've written... But fact is when life takes something, it gives you another.

I've lately been going through some dark and twisted phase. In the same time... God has sent me two guarding angels to be there for me every step of the way. Usually, if that had happened to me, I would have been absorbed in misery and sadness and even grief.


INSTEAD... 
I've really been blessed with two amazingly supportive, fun and understanding friends who are with me day in and out, morning and night, at work, outside, on the phone, on bbm, on Twitter... 24/7 distracting me, telling me that it's not the end of the world, that I deserve better and that things will get better.  It's like God sent them to me right before my problem so they can help me get through with it. 

They even make me laugh in my most difficult moments. Today I can't believe I laughed this much. The none stop kind of laughter. This would have never happened... I've been me for a while and I pretty much know I would have been sinking in depression, hating everyone and everything. I would have been crying and excluding myself on the side!

I can't explain how much I'm glad with this friendship and how much I truly value it... but I can honestly say if it weren't for them these days would have been unbearable. True I am upset and down from the way things may have turned out to me... but seriously it's going a lot better than I had expected. In the middle of all this, one of my hardest moments ever, I'm able to see something positive! 

Yesterday they got my an engraved bracelet that read: "May your days all be blessed with the presence of an angel watching over you!"

Ladies, you are my angels.

It may seem like a 6th grade corny best friends for ever necklace kind of thing to do. But it means the world to me.

Thanks! I mean it!

So ya life may take something but it sure does give another. It may take something that is replaceable but it gives you something that is for keeps.

Booba and Amy... you sure are for keeps!

Time...

I've always tried to figure out whether time is my friend or my enemy!? However, it's not time itself... it's the changes that time brings upon us that has this questionable impact on us...

For me, the worst thing time brings changes upon are relationships... Well true, love relationships, but not just that... Even friendships... or any possible relationship that could exist...

Let's see...

I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia; lived there for 18 years. I was in an International School with friends from every single part of the globe; then left that all behind and came to Egypt. Then I lived in the dorms for a year, where people came from all over Egypt or expats studying in Egypt and again left that behind and settled in my home. Then there was university where I spent four years with amazing people, and then we graduated and each took their own road to the future (worked elsewhere, got married, busy with kids, masters, PhD...) and changed three jobs so far each with a different set of busy people...

And true the internet has proved to be a major help to us in keeping people in touch and communicating. However, it's not the same... time has changed the nature of our relationships... how we speak and what we say...

There are also those people who we stop speaking to or lose touch with... 'cause we've argued over something stupid and we both can't get our egos to just get over it OR 'cause things didn't work out... OR for whatever reason! But despite the fact that we can't speak to them today 'cause there has been too much damage, deep down you still value them in your hearts and wished things were different!

And my question is... how is that someone can be in your life day in and day out, morning, night and then BOOM... they're no longer there. How's that fair, that you get used to someone and then they're not there anymore.

How is it that something comes up... and that was the one person you'd turn to but they're not there anymore to talk to them about it either 'cause you just haven't spoken in too long, 'cause you've agreed to part ways or 'cause telling them the story via e-mail is just not the same...

How is it that one day that person was everything to you and you share them everything and they're almost with you every single minute of every day AND NOW you think twice or even ten times before you say hello...

How is it that a childhood friend has now turned into status update to you? And we call that keeping in touch... you see their graduation pics rather than be there...

How is it that someone you wished would stay long enough in your life, now you no longer know anything about?

How is it that they cross your mind... and all you can do is let them JUST cross your mind...

How is it that all you can do is worry about them from afar 'cause time has put you at distant ends!

How, How, How, How, How...

Why does time change things this way? Why can't things stay the same... stay stable! Keep the people we value the same, they don't change... we don't change. Keeping the ties, keeping the feelings the same, the distance close... Making the bonds stronger rather than weaker!

And again I say, maybe this change is for the better... so I really dunno, does this impact time has on us and our relationships with people... does that make time our friend our enemy...

In some situations, I can assure you time is an enemy... I mean, why do childhood friends end up on different parts of the globe?

The way I see it, today it could be our enemy... later in the future, when we have better vision and a better understanding we'd see it as our friend...

Umm... I have no idea actually... after writing about it... It's more like LIFE not TIME that's an issue... and as they say in the end of every story, C'est La Vie or This Is Life....

The point is to train yourself to get used to it and to accept the changes that life or time throw at you... to let go of whatever was left behind... and tell yourself every MINUTE of every DAY that time is also capable of bringing better things your way!

I'm BLESSED...

So lately, I might have been a little dramatic about how much people suck and aren’t worth it… and true there are times when I’m at the EDGE of the world… times when I feel like I could possibly hate everyone…

Some readers might have thought… Who does she think she is? Miss Perfect!? Miss Victim!?

NOPES I DON'T THINK SO…

This is a good opportunity to admit that pointing fingers "sometimes" does not mean that I’m perfect or better than the world. I’m fully aware that I have my HUGE faults… that sometimes I’m the bad friend and sometimes I fail the people who count on me… I try my best not to… but I’m sure it happens! I try that these times would be unintentional but sometimes things slip… and I DO apologize to anyone I upset in anyway!

When I write such depressed and angry posts… I’m usually down… hurt… upset and yes ANGRY and HATEFUL!


BUT AGAIN… that doesn’t change the fact that I’m blessed with friends who lighten up my days… who despite everything can still make me smile… who have my back regardless how often we see each other, talk or express our love to each other…

Maybe we sometimes drift apart, have our differences, our arguments, our disappointments… maybe at times they’re sucky friends and other times I’m the stinky friend… but I’m blessed and thankful to have them in my life…

Lanoull… who honestly proved that distance, time and space do not change real friendship… that despite anything I can still have someone who understands me just by looking at each other… a person with whom I share LISTS and LISTS of memories… a person I can talk to for hours none stop about ANYTHING shamelessly… and even if we’re repeating the same stories over and over and over again we would NEVER get bored…. A person I really don’t worry about being judged with :) - Babe... I'd kill to have you live with me in the same country!

Yarooor… a true example of a GREAT childhood friend… an amazing listener… the right person to talk to when I'm down because I'm sure she’s got my back! Lots of memories together and the best person to share a girl’s night in with :) Coziness, girl talk, food, movies, tears, gossip and lots of laughter :)

Sandoor… who would help in whichever way she can whenever she can… giving her maximum without thinking twice… she even prays for me without asking… I can take her mature opinion in whatever comes to mind, knowing she’ll be honest without painting the truth :)

SharShory… has the KINDEST heart EVER… who at the time of need will be the first person there… ALSO one of the people I LAUGH with the most… knows how to have fun and makes me feel special :) Best person for girl talk! Can't live without her and can't help but love her! :)

Salsa… maybe we don’t hang out much! BUT…. We have tons and tons in common, mentally and personally… and we know we LOVE each other tremendously and we both know it… and if I ever wanna talk and blab my heart out… she’s the right person to call… she listens, advices, cares and cheers you up amazingly and she is FUN!! :) - I was gonna postpone this post till later but I just came back from dinner with Salsa and I thought THIS CAN'T WAIT... I have awesome people in my life that I gotta be thankful for :)

I hope you aren’t bored yet ‘cause the my list of special people is LONG :) I woke up today deciding I’ll focus on the bright side…

There is also MONDY the GREAT… who is the most amazing sis, friend and buddy! Kindest, sweetest, most loving... And trust me I’d do MIRACLES to see her the happiest person ever :)

And MONMON the GREAT :) My KICK ASS little brother whom I can fool around as much as I want… be stupid and idiotic… and be the loser I avoid being around other people! :

LOVE YOU BOTH ENDLESSLY :)

Umm… moving on to the people I see less often but they just charm my life in various ways…

VANTYYY… Love spending time with you… adorable and sweet are the best words to describe you babe… and I mean it!

MARIOUMA… childhood friend and buddy… with whom I share endless moments of none stop laughter… the person to call on boring days and 5 minutes and we’re in the street cheering ourselves up!

MARTINA... dude I love you and you are SURE of that :)

NIHOOO :) I have to say we both use each other very well… with happiness! We call each other up or go out once every now and then to trash talk ourselves and tell each other the most random and retarded stories about ourselves that we don't usually share with regular friends because... well they're weird stories... Miss u babe :)

SELFTYYYY :) a perfect gossip buddy whom I enjoy every minute with… and I'm 100% sure I can count on you at any time...

HADOORA... love ya loads and you know it… even if I can’t give you an exact reason behind it… we share the same background… we share special moments and I just love you :)

SERIN… my KakaPoooo… I love ya… and I can count on you even if you’re inna different country, busy being a doctor! If I send you asking you what do I do... you'll send me a LONG and LOVING detailed plan of what you think... and I'm thankful :)

MARMAR… I miss living with you in the same place… our fish dance and fooling around… I honestly miss u loads!

CHANTY… who makes my online and BBM life quite interesting… I think we’re having an digital affair! Lol! But we have a lot in common and we share the same mental aurora :)

SALMA... my Saudi Wanna be Friend... you know I love you... we can talk about anything together and time doesn't change our friendship hun! You are almost ALWAYS the better friend!

Um… who else… who else… I don’t wanna forget anyone… ‘cause I realized this morning… DUDE I’M BLESSED…

There are so many people who mean a lot to me…. Madonna Said, Kimo, NagNag, Noody, Fudz, Attia, Yasmine, Rana, Maya, Mary, Zanzoon, Dee, Sandy, Dina Tia, Mariam Zaklama, 3azooz, Mina Ibrahim, Mina Scorpie, Mirna Gamal, Peter Michael, Rony, Sa3eed, Sara Wadi3, JouJou, Marmar, Rosey...

There are people I would kill to bring back the days with them… People I choose to end with because I truly love them and because they truly make my days shine… VIVOOO and YOUSSFYY :) Words can’t begin to describe how much I love you girls!

Umm… I honestly hope I didn’t forget anyone… because I’m truly blessed with people I love and I know they love me… no doubt! If I did, it would be an honest example of me being an unintentional bad friend...

May be I sometimes act stupid and slack of as a friend...

May be I’m disappointed with them sometimes...

May be I wished things went better with other people...

But in the end of the day I know we have each other...

Love you and thank you and realizing that I got you guys today… did cheer me up :)

Today, I'm not holding any grudges against anyone... I'm just enjoying being TRULY blessed :)

P.S. In case you're wondering... this post is only about friends... Mom & Dad deserve a post all on their own and would come way on TOP - love you both endlessly :D

Disconnect to Connect…

I’ve recently come across the following expression: “Disconnect to Connect”

First on it didn’t make much sense because I feel like I currently can’t live without being connected to:

My 600 something Facebook “friends”

My 200 something MSN contacts

My 80 something What App contacts

My 40 something BBM contacts

Skype, G-Talk, Hotmail, G-mail, Work e-mail, University e-mail, LinkedIn…


Not being digitally connected makes me feel isolated and frustrated… if I don’t have my BB I’m searching for the red light notification everywhere like a manic!

Yet in the same time, as much as I feel connected digitally, it doesn’t mean I’m as connected offline. I might know so much about the people I’m connected to online, but the truth is if I run into them in an offline social gathering I might not have that much to speak to them about… let alone we may pass by each other and be complete strangers!

Who we are online isn’t the same person we are offline… we act differently, we speak differently and interact differently…

Being socially connected online will never replace being social offline. I feel the more connected you are online, the less connected you are offline! It’s an inverse relationship.

So when I think about it… it isolates me more rather than connects! It messes up real and actual social relationships

For instance:

You wish your friends a Happy Birthday online rather than personally…

You talk on bbm / Whats App rather than call...

You create events and invite people electronically…

You chat rather than talk…

You announce BIG news like getting engaged, getting married or being pregnant through a post…

The list can go on…

Being able to talk online or to keep in touch through new technologies doesn’t mean people have real relationships, true friendships or intimacy… unfortunately sometimes!

I’m not denying how valuable technology and new digital networking are… but like anything else… it gives something… and takes away another!

Sometimes we just need to disconnect in order to really connect with one another! We need to unplug…

Torn Between Space...

Some of you might have read this poem before; it's one of the very first poems I ever wrote... I was leaving Saudi Arabia, where I spent 18 years of my life... And I think I'm just missing those days, the people, the place...

Born and lived in a place,
Now I'm heading to a different case,
I'll miss it, thou I hated it,
I won't be able to go back,
As if erased!
But only by name,
Not in the Heart,
All the time spent,
And all the friends made,
Will be a history never replaced,
Left behind,
With my memories as the only trace,
A truth that has to be faced.
Why didn't I live on the land of my race?
Then this day wouldn't come,
When I'll be torn between the space,
A land where my childhood was,
And a land where my future is yet to be placed,
All I can say is that.... I'm Scared!

Sometimes I question if I'm still at this crossroad!

Sometimes I wanna walk around my old street, my old school... it's nice to able to visit old places... and I can't do it... It's as if I'm restricted from my own childhood!

I miss Saudi... Old is truly gold, never replaced!