The OPTIMISM of December...

I don't know why but December to me has always been a happy season. Last year I had a post titled December and for some unlikely reason it was depressing. Well, true it's a month of self evaluation, you question yourself with what you've achieved and done in the year... bla bla bla! BUT, generally speaking it's a very happy month for me.

Maybe it's all the holiday and gifts that come with it. That disbelief that a year has gone by. The looking forward to a new year carrying new things! Being hopeful. Looking back to the good things. Making resolutions and hoping things would get better. Being around family and friends. Lots of partying and good food... :)

I don't know... but to me the Christmas decorations and the coziness of Christmas makes it for me and really lifts my mood and spirit. And seriously, the hope that next year will be better excites me and gives me something to look forward to.

May be it's an illusion, but December is a happy season for me... full of optimism. I like December... it just cheers me up inside! And that's a brilliant change!

December....

To me December is a time of evaluation… every 1st of December I go like: “shit, it’s already December! Where the hell did this year go?!”

I know it’s the time of Christmas and New Year… so I won’t get too depressing! However…

I got to say 2010 was one hell of a fast year for me… I mean, we say this every single year but this year was just plain FAST…

True, I did change jobs, took major steps in completing my MAs… but that is practically just it! I’m not denying that these stuff are major, important and valuable… Oh… and started a blog, lol, BUT for some reason… I just feel I’m in the exact same place where I was in 2009, maybe even 2008 and for all I care 2007…

Since I was a kid, I had this certain dream for myself…

That I’d be outgoing, fun, famous, an author, a teacher, an artist, adventurous, travel all over the world, meet new people, meet interesting people, a radio presenter, a devoted partner, a standup comedian, a psychiatrist, study literature, an influential manager, a successful career driven person, a social butterfly… so many things…

Sometimes I feel I'm stuck where I am when I could be completely somewhere else and be someone else! It's frustrating :(

I just feel I’m having the same inner thoughts, the same conflicts, the same arguments with the same people, the same problems, same concerns, same feelings… the same everything… it’s sort of killing me… lol (see not depressing @ all)!

And guess what… every year I sort of make the same resolutions! LOL!

A good friend and my manager, Kevin (aka K.P.), told me: think of your life as just one week and your life expectancy is about 70 years old. You’re almost 25…

Given the week in Egypt starts on Sunday… I’m on Tuesday evening! All I got left is… Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Crap!

Okie… it’s not as depressing as it may sound… like I have 4 days left alive… but I just feel I better work on turning this illusion I had for my life into reality…

IN THE SAME TIME.... I love December for Christmas & New Year… it’s a festive happy season, full of gatherings, parties, food and gifts… BUT I hate that it reminds me of the fact that I am right where I was last December...