Craving Cheesecake!

So I figured... everything in life that you really wish for... you probably crave for at some point in time. For me, its cheesecake... I don't know what is it about cheesecake that makes it come to me in a severe rush every now and then... It's like this urge that comes to you... "I want cheesecake here and now," and there is one of two things; I either eat it or not. And when I don't again there are two scenarios... I either keep craving it for a while until I eventually get some cheesecake or I simply grow out of it and don't want it anymore...

So... am I really talking about cheesecake?
Nopes; it's quite metaphorical to anything we could possibly crave for...

Take for instance a guy you're craving for...
At first you're going nuts hoping you get him...
And then you don't...
And then you stay for a long time craving, hoping he ends up with you...
And after a while you start to resent him... not want him anymore!
May be you get the urges again every now and then, but eventually they disappear... or stop meaning much...

And who knows... maybe later, he comes to you... on a plate, on his own...
You still like him, after all you never really hate cheesecake, some of it is never bad...
But that insane, crazy feeling that you "crave for him" isn't there...
Is it sitting there on the plate and you're looking at it with deep "craving eyes?"
Not really... you're probably looking at it saying, "where were you when I wanted it?"
You're happy he came but it's not giving you the same satisfaction that you were looking for...
It lost this effect on you, the one that makes your eyes glitter... taste its beauty before taking a bite...
He's no longer this soft cheesecake with dripping, shinny sauce and freshly rounded berries...
He's just cake; tastes good but not heart dropping, delicious...

SO...
Don't settle for just cake...  in almost anything!
Don't settle for just a normal dessert, for just a guy, for just a job or for just a dress...
Settle for what you crave for in its most intense moment...
Never settle for less than cheesecake... one that makes your eyes and heart sizzle... one that is mouth watering; a piece that you'd enjoy every single bit of; you wish it never ends... and you can't wait for more. The kind of cheesecake that excites you with every bite as if it's the first one.

Eventually... you'll find the perfect piece of cheesecake...
One that you almost always crave...
One that always gives you this insane sense of satisfaction...

Lost Beauty...

We often come across people, experiences or situations that overwhelmingly are beautiful...

You are simply overwhelmed....
So you want the whole of it... you don't want bits and pieces of it... you want the entire scene...
You convince yourself that you'll find happiness right here, just this way... that there is nothing else in the world that you could possibly wish for...

You look at them... or experience them... and all you can think of is: this is how I want to spend the rest of my life... this is the person I want to wake up to every morning... I wish this would last forever... this moment should never end....

Its like you're in paradise... you're sleeping in the sun, on soft sand, water hitting your toes, smooth breeze making your hair twirl, listening to your favorite music, having the best drink, relaxing quitely, feeling free and happy, nothing is worrying you, enjoying every moment, helplessly smiling...

Who wouldn't want that to last forever...



And for once... this dream seems like reality... you can see it right in front of your eyes, experience it, touch it physically and emotionally... you're living it... all you're doing is hoping it lasts... and even that doesn't seem impossible... Every possible sign is saying you can have it, that it is yours...

AND THEN...
For some reason or the other, it just starts to change and fade away...
And naturally, you start to fight for it to stay...

And you get to a point where you no longer know whether you're living this once very beautiful experience you once had... because having it in bits and pieces its not like having the entire thing... the "breath taking" effect of utopia is no longer there....

And you sometimes convince yourself that having bits and pieces is better than having nothing!
And other times you tell yourself you should have all or nothing!
Then you go back to telling yourself that maybe the bits and pieces one day grow back to the beautiful place you once knew...
BUT deep down you know you deserve utopia... you don't deserve to wait in "hope for utopia..."

Until eventually you start forgetting the original beauty you once fell for...
The bits and pieces stop meaning the same... Their excitement decreases...They start making the once perfect picture, uglier every time... They start loosing meaning... They seem like essentials... not those sparkly things that once made you shiver with excitement and happiness...
That scene that you could almost always stare at with amusement... gives you a knot in your throat just by remembering it...

You still want the WHOLE thing...
BUT deep down you ask yourself if you'd still want it even if it comes knocking at your door...

POINT IS all this going back and forth, those pointless bits and pieces make this person, experience or scene just lose all its beauty...

And that is just...
Well...
A shame!

A beauty like this should have never been wasted!

~ Sigh!

I Need A Face!

So this post wont make any sense...
Not even to me...

But I've been having this certain "problem" in my life, a problem I cannot really explain in words that makes sense either, but this problem...  despite it being so prominent in my life, so vivid, and pretty impact-ful on my life... yet I cannot still clearly define it.

It's like you know a person really well yet you don't really know how they look; or remember their resemblance.

So if it makes any sense at all, I need a "face" to my problem...

Something that makes it more real, more understand-able... Cause leaving it completely up to my imagination is wrong. Imagination may make things seem better than they actually are; or worst than what they truly are!

I know I'm not making sense...
May be I cannot articulate this whole thing...

I dono...

But I deserve a truly defined thing. A face! Something I can remember; recall...
Things need to stop being so vague and unclear...
Clarity may help me decide how to handle things! Fight for them? Or let them go?
Something that would make everything make better sense...
Help me better evaluate...
Or Understand...

#Sigh....

I just need a face God Damn It!

Are We Really Stupid?

I often wonder if we're really stupid...

OR if the things we hope for and want are what make us stupid...

Take love for example... love is crazy, blind and insane, I guess we can all agree to that... However, we're often certain, deep down, on a mental level, that this particular relationship will never work... So this must mean we're not stupid, because when we "think about it" we know it won't work... we're definite... it's a crystal clear fact right there in front of us...

When we get into this mental state we start making CLEAR self promises... we won't approach the person again, we'll leave things to come to and end, we'll let go, we'll say NO, we'll keep a distance, we won't fool our self and go back to being "friends," we'll avoid them, we'll stop ourselves from wishing them on birthdays and Christmas, we won't wonder what they think... AND SO ON...

But again that's our MIND acting...

And surprisingly we stick to it, and THEN one day or the other you're triggered, by a birthday, a song, a movie or any random memory... and UNFORTUNATELY... your emotions mess up you brain... they start moving in with a million random excuse and what if scenarios... what if they want to call but think we're uninterested, but we were great friends, but we were amazing together, we communicated so well, I know we'll eventually go back to speaking, I know we'll anyway end up together...

And BOOM, your stupidity rolls in at FULL speed... and you do something stupid... like give them a call... and we both know how this would end: regret and hurt AGAIN!  

You find that your stupid weakness... or hope of being with someone, your inability to move on, or your illusion that this person is your perfect match is what MADE you STUPID... Although in a normal state of MIND you know what you're doing is wrong... pointless and stupid... you know the facts!

SO NO, we're not stupid... we go through emotional phases that make us STUPID!

I used the so called relationship example.... well 'cause I'm a girl and it's the one I can relate to most! BUT apply this to everything...

Who of us doesn't know that drugs, speeding, drinking, hurting someone, lying, smuggling, bullying or any STUPID thing we do is actually STUPID.... Deep down we all know that!

So... Am I the pro on fighting stupidity? Actually no, I'm a pro at being stupid... but recently I've learned that all it takes is a pinch of self control. KEEP fighting the feeling, the emotional rush, the weakness... until it goes away. Keep pushing it away for an hour, a day, or a week... and it'll go away.

Push away the phone, switch it off, take  nap, go for walk, spend an hour at the gym, take a shower, watch a movie... keep pushing away the "weakness," tell yourself I'll get to it after the nap, after the shower... keep postponing the "stupid action," and you'll be surprised how much it would go away...

Hence, comes in my favorite line of lyrics: "It's just a moment, this time will pass..."

And you will be better...
Until the next one comes....
And you fight it again...
Then these feelings come at wider intervals...
And they come at weaker intensities...
Until they eventually fade out...

We're not stupid... we just need to better deal with stupid feelings!