Lost Beauty...

We often come across people, experiences or situations that overwhelmingly are beautiful...

You are simply overwhelmed....
So you want the whole of it... you don't want bits and pieces of it... you want the entire scene...
You convince yourself that you'll find happiness right here, just this way... that there is nothing else in the world that you could possibly wish for...

You look at them... or experience them... and all you can think of is: this is how I want to spend the rest of my life... this is the person I want to wake up to every morning... I wish this would last forever... this moment should never end....

Its like you're in paradise... you're sleeping in the sun, on soft sand, water hitting your toes, smooth breeze making your hair twirl, listening to your favorite music, having the best drink, relaxing quitely, feeling free and happy, nothing is worrying you, enjoying every moment, helplessly smiling...

Who wouldn't want that to last forever...



And for once... this dream seems like reality... you can see it right in front of your eyes, experience it, touch it physically and emotionally... you're living it... all you're doing is hoping it lasts... and even that doesn't seem impossible... Every possible sign is saying you can have it, that it is yours...

AND THEN...
For some reason or the other, it just starts to change and fade away...
And naturally, you start to fight for it to stay...

And you get to a point where you no longer know whether you're living this once very beautiful experience you once had... because having it in bits and pieces its not like having the entire thing... the "breath taking" effect of utopia is no longer there....

And you sometimes convince yourself that having bits and pieces is better than having nothing!
And other times you tell yourself you should have all or nothing!
Then you go back to telling yourself that maybe the bits and pieces one day grow back to the beautiful place you once knew...
BUT deep down you know you deserve utopia... you don't deserve to wait in "hope for utopia..."

Until eventually you start forgetting the original beauty you once fell for...
The bits and pieces stop meaning the same... Their excitement decreases...They start making the once perfect picture, uglier every time... They start loosing meaning... They seem like essentials... not those sparkly things that once made you shiver with excitement and happiness...
That scene that you could almost always stare at with amusement... gives you a knot in your throat just by remembering it...

You still want the WHOLE thing...
BUT deep down you ask yourself if you'd still want it even if it comes knocking at your door...

POINT IS all this going back and forth, those pointless bits and pieces make this person, experience or scene just lose all its beauty...

And that is just...
Well...
A shame!

A beauty like this should have never been wasted!

~ Sigh!

You've Changed...

I've previously written a post titled The Beautiful You and Me... and I guess this is quite related to it... 


Sometimes I look at someone and I feel he or she has changed... more like softened up, lost their edge with time... and that's really not something bad, it's more like they've just loosened up with time and have let their softer side shine...


Whatever happened could really be meeting someone, getting married, having a child, going through a rough experience, loosing someone, becoming better friends or simply just growing up... 


And surprisingly this change just brings this person under a new light... makes me look at this person differently... with some sort of admiration...


I've lately been seeing a lot of changed people... people who no longer care that it's corny to play games on Facebook despite claiming that it's kiddish for years... others who have risen above tension in the past and make sure you know you're still dear to them.... others who don't mind crying in front of you... others who admit they love hanging around kids...


I've lately been seeing a lot of changed people... changed to the better... people who allow you to see their other side... who share the better version of them... who really show the beautiful them... I've lately been smiling a lot! Thanks to the people who have changed... 

The Moment of STUPIDITY...

So yeah... in my last post The Beautiful ME and You I spoke about how there are these amazingly, breath taking moments where we unconsciously allow allow our inner beauty to shine. I also spoke about how we should work more on not hiding this side of who we are... after all there is nothing wrong with being beautiful.

However... there is a side to us we need to work on minimizing! And that is our stupid moments! Ya... we must get them, its a part of life, but SERIOUSLY stupid moments make me feel stupid and I hate that!

I'd say a stupid moment is one defined as: you know the outcome is crap and you still do it hoping it would be different!

Some people would say it's hope! I'd say.. SERIOUSLY??!

For example... if you're dieting and dying to loose wait... do we honestly think "cheesecake" would go by unnoticed on the scale!? That's a clear moment of stupidity!

You tell someone you like him/her times and times again... and they still push us back... do we honestly think this time it would be different... if they changed their mind they'd come back on their own... unless we enjoy feeling bad and rejected, we're simply being stupid!

You tell a friend times and times again that something bothers you and obviously it's beyond their abilities to change... unless we're looking for another pointless argument, I suggest we become the bigger, better person and just move on!

You have work presentation... and you're tight on deadline and it's 12 am... work is in 8-9 hours... is it really time to check your Farm on Facebook, make sure your Mafia is doing well! Why are you signed in, in first place! So again... unless we enjoy looking like crap in big and important meetings... we're just being stupid!

The list can go on forever and ever! And the above are just simple stuff... there are many more complicated and serious examples!

These aren't stuff we should be hopeful about! We should be hopeful about things were outcomes are unknown, unexpected and likely to change... but some stuff... outcomes are crystal clear! And some of these stuff we can easily control with a minimal level of will and control!

This whole issue sums in self control... in our ability to tell ourselves NO! We NEED to teach ourselves when to fight back temptations that later lead us to sink in misery! - it is something I daily try to teach myself (desperately), 'cause I personally suck (big time) at say NO to myself (fore more examples on my greatest weakness you can check my post on letting go)!

SO... Why do we act stupid when we know the outcome?? I have no idea what so ever!

We act stupid... THEN we feel stupid, we feel like fools, we regret stuff... we get pissed, annoyed, frustrated... we start wishing we could turn back time, that things change... we keep whining about how unlucky we are and how life is unfair...

YET... the simple explanation is that we consciously decide to be stupid... knowing that we cannot handle the consequences... we still insist on doing it!

So let's try to have less stupid moments... more beautiful moments! That way we're all winners!

The Beautiful ME and YOU...

Regardless of how we feel sometimes... we get our low esteem moments... our falls... our high peeks of self criticism... and the fact that we sometimes hate no one BUT ourselves... the FACT and the truth is... both me and you have a beautiful and amazingly kick ass side to us!

What kindda annoys me though... is that sometimes we try hard to hide the beautiful side to us because worried we'd seem corny... we like to appear as the strong, careless, arrogant, self centered JERKS we think we are...

Fact is... deep down I know I'm beautiful inside... and I know YOU are beautiful inside...

Sometimes I'd be sitting with a highly qualified "jerk" and outta the blue that person forgets that he or she has to give this uptight and annoying attitude and BINGO I see their beautiful side...

This beautiful ME and YOU moment could be: a simple smile, a statement about how much we love our moms, giving a homeless child something to eat, calling our little brother or sister because we're worried they're late, keeping a picture of our ex in our wallet, helping an old lady cross the street, bragging about how much we'd love to turn out like our dads, humming a cute romantic song, getting caught daydreaming and smiling, admitting that we sometimes cry, admitting that we actually forgave the person who hurt us the most, admitting that if we could actually tell that person that we did forgive them we would, that we still keep our teddy bear from childhood, that we still check our ex's Facebook page everyday, that we cry in movies, that flowers make our day, that we're suckers for chocolate, that our best friend is our dream man/woman, that our mom's food is the best thing we've ever tasted...

The list can go on forever...

The beautiful me and you moment, is a moment we don't plan for, a moment when we're lost in time... HOWEVER it can change how we see each other... It allows you to know something about me that you didn't know don't know... it allows me to see you from a different perspective... It is something that makes us both smile!

So... should we still care we look corny?!? I say NO! Let the beautiful me and you shine! Let it grow... Trust me being beautiful inside and letting it show is a lot better than being a jerk :)