The Country Person in Me...

A lot of people call me picky... and I think I am. I've come in terms with it. But recently I did realize that I'm very hard to please. I came to Dubai and I wasn't exactly impressed by the country. And lately I've been to NY, and I wasn't impressed either... When people hear that some get annoyed, they think I'm being too snobby... other are sarcastic... and some people even get defensive (don't ask about that)!

So I gave it some thought and I realized I'm not a city person... really! Cities are nice to go to for a few hours, spend a night... go crazy every once in a while.. but to live in these BIG ass, huge, fancy cities isn't something I aspire too... Tall buildings (no matter how glamorous) don't impress me. On the contrary... they stress me out... City lights and billboards hurt my eyes. Traffic... well that brings the worst out of me!

I live in Cairo (originally)... and that is one hell of a city! You've got the buildings, the traffic, the huge population, the pollution, the honking, the beeping, the sellers, the beggars, the lights, the tunnels, the bridges... it's the true definition of a busy city. And I love it.. because it's my hometown... but if I'm going on a holiday... Nopes, I don't want to be in another stressful location. I want a nicer, calmer place to be in. So ya NY was fun for a few days but I don't have the urge to go back there again... that's not what I consider a holiday. I take holiday to relax... not ones that send me back home more stressful.

It's cool to claim that I'm a city girl, the big star, the hot shot! But I'm not. If I ever have to leave Egypt I'd want to move some place quieter... greener... houses not apartments... ride a bike... walk a dog, have a decent walk... enjoy my backyard... park in my own garage...  Some place where I'm surrounded by nature, trees, flowers and a lake... Some place where i can relax after work... generally have a peaceful life!

So ya... it makes me sound boring... but I am a country side person! I can always go to the city... Enjoy it for a night, a weekend... but my day to day life... I'd want to be in a place that helps me think... helps me recharge... free my mind... enjoy beauty and value SILENCE.

Oman... A Different Gulf!

I cannot claim that I'm an expert on on the Gulf region, I haven't been to each and every country in the GCC but I assume I know a little something... But I am a sucker for the region. I lived in Saudi and people think I'm insane to claim I love it, but I do... it was home for a very long time and it's the only childhood I ever had and knew...

So the below, is not an attack on any country it's a bunch of observations in hopes of showing admiration to Oman! 

So, again... I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia, lived there for a good 18 years. Took a break back home and then I  recently moved to Dubai and have been living there since October 2012. I've also been briefly to Bahrain, and I have lots of friends in Kuwait and herd a lot about the country (but in all fairness have never been their for long).

Earlier this week I had a one day trip to Oman (Muscat), and although it is very short of a time to know about the country it was long enough to know that Oman stood out from the rest of the Gulf, or at least the countries where I have been.

For starters, I have to say its a beautiful country. Lots of nature and culture. And I can't say they controlled it but I have to salute them for preserving it. This is a country that doesn't care about building skyscrapers, why would they when they have beautiful mountains in every corner and the Gulf running through the entire city. I was told their buildings don't exceed 8 floors and coming from a place where people compete to build the tallest tower in the world, I have to say it was quite soothing seeing greenery and the sky, I kind of miss them! I think Omanis learned to appreciate the beauty of their country that makes them stand out.

I was also impressed by their active participation in the different sectors and working fields. I got out of the airport and received the shock of my life, I was riding in a cab where the driver was a local Gulfy. In my head I thought he must be an exception. And then the three cab drivers we rode with were Omani... I later learned that none-locals aren't even allowed to be cab drivers.  They believe during a taxi ride they are the best fitting people to educate passengers about Oman. They know their country better than anyone!! And I think that just triggered respect.

I then got to the hotel where the door man and bell men were locals. The music in the reception was played by an Omani. And in my head I thought... "Wow! This is a country that can sustain itself even if it's expats leave!" For a minute I was surprised, even felt awkward because in other countries in the Gulf, locals leave the perceived low end jobs for expats! But I realized... this is how the world works. I'm glad I've lived to see a self sustaining Gulf country!

The culture is also interesting. The way they dress and the pride they take in the different colors of the head turbans. I was also impressed by the building designs. They're not after the modern look... here in Dubai I barely see anything that looks Arab or represents the heritage, but in Oman, I've seen an HSBC with an arabesque design and I loved it. We are Arab and we have a look that makes us distinctive, so why not brag about it and educate the world on it... In the several conversations I have had with Omanis I have noticed that they pride themselves in their ethical standards and their manners... and I would say anyone could say that, but I honestly felt it.

Finally, I felt extremely welcomed! They were happy we were visiting, asked if we're coming back and hoped we stay longer next time... even asked how things were back home in Egypt by more than one person.They expressed their love for Egyptians and how we are welcomed here... and with all honesty... I was never more comfortable in conversation around a local Gulfy except there! 

I loved Oman, loved the nature, the culture, the people, the ethics... Would love to go back again, not for work, but for a holiday!! 

- I understand my observations may not be accurate due to my short stay, I also understand some observations about other Gulf countries may be stereotypical and I apologize for that. I hold A LOT of love and respect for these countries and people. 

Lost Beauty...

We often come across people, experiences or situations that overwhelmingly are beautiful...

You are simply overwhelmed....
So you want the whole of it... you don't want bits and pieces of it... you want the entire scene...
You convince yourself that you'll find happiness right here, just this way... that there is nothing else in the world that you could possibly wish for...

You look at them... or experience them... and all you can think of is: this is how I want to spend the rest of my life... this is the person I want to wake up to every morning... I wish this would last forever... this moment should never end....

Its like you're in paradise... you're sleeping in the sun, on soft sand, water hitting your toes, smooth breeze making your hair twirl, listening to your favorite music, having the best drink, relaxing quitely, feeling free and happy, nothing is worrying you, enjoying every moment, helplessly smiling...

Who wouldn't want that to last forever...



And for once... this dream seems like reality... you can see it right in front of your eyes, experience it, touch it physically and emotionally... you're living it... all you're doing is hoping it lasts... and even that doesn't seem impossible... Every possible sign is saying you can have it, that it is yours...

AND THEN...
For some reason or the other, it just starts to change and fade away...
And naturally, you start to fight for it to stay...

And you get to a point where you no longer know whether you're living this once very beautiful experience you once had... because having it in bits and pieces its not like having the entire thing... the "breath taking" effect of utopia is no longer there....

And you sometimes convince yourself that having bits and pieces is better than having nothing!
And other times you tell yourself you should have all or nothing!
Then you go back to telling yourself that maybe the bits and pieces one day grow back to the beautiful place you once knew...
BUT deep down you know you deserve utopia... you don't deserve to wait in "hope for utopia..."

Until eventually you start forgetting the original beauty you once fell for...
The bits and pieces stop meaning the same... Their excitement decreases...They start making the once perfect picture, uglier every time... They start loosing meaning... They seem like essentials... not those sparkly things that once made you shiver with excitement and happiness...
That scene that you could almost always stare at with amusement... gives you a knot in your throat just by remembering it...

You still want the WHOLE thing...
BUT deep down you ask yourself if you'd still want it even if it comes knocking at your door...

POINT IS all this going back and forth, those pointless bits and pieces make this person, experience or scene just lose all its beauty...

And that is just...
Well...
A shame!

A beauty like this should have never been wasted!

~ Sigh!

The Moment of STUPIDITY...

So yeah... in my last post The Beautiful ME and You I spoke about how there are these amazingly, breath taking moments where we unconsciously allow allow our inner beauty to shine. I also spoke about how we should work more on not hiding this side of who we are... after all there is nothing wrong with being beautiful.

However... there is a side to us we need to work on minimizing! And that is our stupid moments! Ya... we must get them, its a part of life, but SERIOUSLY stupid moments make me feel stupid and I hate that!

I'd say a stupid moment is one defined as: you know the outcome is crap and you still do it hoping it would be different!

Some people would say it's hope! I'd say.. SERIOUSLY??!

For example... if you're dieting and dying to loose wait... do we honestly think "cheesecake" would go by unnoticed on the scale!? That's a clear moment of stupidity!

You tell someone you like him/her times and times again... and they still push us back... do we honestly think this time it would be different... if they changed their mind they'd come back on their own... unless we enjoy feeling bad and rejected, we're simply being stupid!

You tell a friend times and times again that something bothers you and obviously it's beyond their abilities to change... unless we're looking for another pointless argument, I suggest we become the bigger, better person and just move on!

You have work presentation... and you're tight on deadline and it's 12 am... work is in 8-9 hours... is it really time to check your Farm on Facebook, make sure your Mafia is doing well! Why are you signed in, in first place! So again... unless we enjoy looking like crap in big and important meetings... we're just being stupid!

The list can go on forever and ever! And the above are just simple stuff... there are many more complicated and serious examples!

These aren't stuff we should be hopeful about! We should be hopeful about things were outcomes are unknown, unexpected and likely to change... but some stuff... outcomes are crystal clear! And some of these stuff we can easily control with a minimal level of will and control!

This whole issue sums in self control... in our ability to tell ourselves NO! We NEED to teach ourselves when to fight back temptations that later lead us to sink in misery! - it is something I daily try to teach myself (desperately), 'cause I personally suck (big time) at say NO to myself (fore more examples on my greatest weakness you can check my post on letting go)!

SO... Why do we act stupid when we know the outcome?? I have no idea what so ever!

We act stupid... THEN we feel stupid, we feel like fools, we regret stuff... we get pissed, annoyed, frustrated... we start wishing we could turn back time, that things change... we keep whining about how unlucky we are and how life is unfair...

YET... the simple explanation is that we consciously decide to be stupid... knowing that we cannot handle the consequences... we still insist on doing it!

So let's try to have less stupid moments... more beautiful moments! That way we're all winners!

The Beautiful ME and YOU...

Regardless of how we feel sometimes... we get our low esteem moments... our falls... our high peeks of self criticism... and the fact that we sometimes hate no one BUT ourselves... the FACT and the truth is... both me and you have a beautiful and amazingly kick ass side to us!

What kindda annoys me though... is that sometimes we try hard to hide the beautiful side to us because worried we'd seem corny... we like to appear as the strong, careless, arrogant, self centered JERKS we think we are...

Fact is... deep down I know I'm beautiful inside... and I know YOU are beautiful inside...

Sometimes I'd be sitting with a highly qualified "jerk" and outta the blue that person forgets that he or she has to give this uptight and annoying attitude and BINGO I see their beautiful side...

This beautiful ME and YOU moment could be: a simple smile, a statement about how much we love our moms, giving a homeless child something to eat, calling our little brother or sister because we're worried they're late, keeping a picture of our ex in our wallet, helping an old lady cross the street, bragging about how much we'd love to turn out like our dads, humming a cute romantic song, getting caught daydreaming and smiling, admitting that we sometimes cry, admitting that we actually forgave the person who hurt us the most, admitting that if we could actually tell that person that we did forgive them we would, that we still keep our teddy bear from childhood, that we still check our ex's Facebook page everyday, that we cry in movies, that flowers make our day, that we're suckers for chocolate, that our best friend is our dream man/woman, that our mom's food is the best thing we've ever tasted...

The list can go on forever...

The beautiful me and you moment, is a moment we don't plan for, a moment when we're lost in time... HOWEVER it can change how we see each other... It allows you to know something about me that you didn't know don't know... it allows me to see you from a different perspective... It is something that makes us both smile!

So... should we still care we look corny?!? I say NO! Let the beautiful me and you shine! Let it grow... Trust me being beautiful inside and letting it show is a lot better than being a jerk :)

Busy Days…

Personally, I love holidays and having nothing to do… these times are a great reward!

However... these holidays are good when I'm in perfect and relaxed mood... when I have the intention to enjoy them...they need a particular mind set...

But there are times… when I have a problem or something bothering me…. During these times I really don’t like holidays… on the contrary I love busy days...

When this happens... free time just means sitting with loads of “time” to depress myself even more with negative thoughts… and… even if I try doing something I'm distracted and my thoughts are elsewhere…

Free time… when I have problems means that I sit in bed under covers… watching a movie with a big bag of chips… munching away to kill time!

The beauty of busy days is that they DO NOT give me time to think… I'd be caught up from one thing to another… from work, to meetings, to calls, to outings, to shopping, to driving… not a minute to think! - good for me!

I just don’t get any time to think about what’s bothering me… I don’t get the free time to sit and day dream about whatever it is…

I get home… and fall flat on bed and I'd asleep in seconds… rather than tossing and turning for hours … thinking and thinking… and I end up feeling even worst!

Empty days mean… I look at the clock and it’s 2:00 pm… next time I look it’s probably 2:02 pm… - not good!

Busy days mean… I look at the clock and it’s 2:00 pm… next time I look it’s 6:00 pm and before I know it’s already 11:00 pm and looking where my bed is... - perfect!

In busy days times passes faster…

I'm occupied…

I don’t have time to think…

Or to wait for things to happen…

Busy days are good… busy days are important and healthy…

I LOVE busy days... I NEED busy... I ENJOY busy days!