Are We Really Stupid?

I often wonder if we're really stupid...

OR if the things we hope for and want are what make us stupid...

Take love for example... love is crazy, blind and insane, I guess we can all agree to that... However, we're often certain, deep down, on a mental level, that this particular relationship will never work... So this must mean we're not stupid, because when we "think about it" we know it won't work... we're definite... it's a crystal clear fact right there in front of us...

When we get into this mental state we start making CLEAR self promises... we won't approach the person again, we'll leave things to come to and end, we'll let go, we'll say NO, we'll keep a distance, we won't fool our self and go back to being "friends," we'll avoid them, we'll stop ourselves from wishing them on birthdays and Christmas, we won't wonder what they think... AND SO ON...

But again that's our MIND acting...

And surprisingly we stick to it, and THEN one day or the other you're triggered, by a birthday, a song, a movie or any random memory... and UNFORTUNATELY... your emotions mess up you brain... they start moving in with a million random excuse and what if scenarios... what if they want to call but think we're uninterested, but we were great friends, but we were amazing together, we communicated so well, I know we'll eventually go back to speaking, I know we'll anyway end up together...

And BOOM, your stupidity rolls in at FULL speed... and you do something stupid... like give them a call... and we both know how this would end: regret and hurt AGAIN!  

You find that your stupid weakness... or hope of being with someone, your inability to move on, or your illusion that this person is your perfect match is what MADE you STUPID... Although in a normal state of MIND you know what you're doing is wrong... pointless and stupid... you know the facts!

SO NO, we're not stupid... we go through emotional phases that make us STUPID!

I used the so called relationship example.... well 'cause I'm a girl and it's the one I can relate to most! BUT apply this to everything...

Who of us doesn't know that drugs, speeding, drinking, hurting someone, lying, smuggling, bullying or any STUPID thing we do is actually STUPID.... Deep down we all know that!

So... Am I the pro on fighting stupidity? Actually no, I'm a pro at being stupid... but recently I've learned that all it takes is a pinch of self control. KEEP fighting the feeling, the emotional rush, the weakness... until it goes away. Keep pushing it away for an hour, a day, or a week... and it'll go away.

Push away the phone, switch it off, take  nap, go for walk, spend an hour at the gym, take a shower, watch a movie... keep pushing away the "weakness," tell yourself I'll get to it after the nap, after the shower... keep postponing the "stupid action," and you'll be surprised how much it would go away...

Hence, comes in my favorite line of lyrics: "It's just a moment, this time will pass..."

And you will be better...
Until the next one comes....
And you fight it again...
Then these feelings come at wider intervals...
And they come at weaker intensities...
Until they eventually fade out...

We're not stupid... we just need to better deal with stupid feelings!

Distraction...

Well, related to my previous post, Lost, I've taken up whatever things I could possibly take or do to distract myself. As I said, anything that makes you go through the night... anything to divert your thoughts from what you should really be focused on.

However, distraction is not always positive. Distraction could lead to destruction! 

Sometimes you get yourself into more trouble just to get yourself out of some mess! Sometimes fooling yourself, your feel and brains is even more hectic and energy draining.

I also spoke earlier about the moments of stupidity that we go through and acknowledging that what you're doing is somewhat stupid. And I gotta say most of the time when you're trying to distract yourself from something you end up doing something stupid... which you later regret!

It also leads to destruction because once you decide to stop and go back to reality you realize that you're really right where you always where! That being in denial and that keeping yourself "fake-ly" distracted will just make everything crumble over your head suddenly! And that would be real trouble. When you think you've moved on, but you're actually right where you are!

~sigh!

Stupid Moment Glorified...

So earlier I wrote about the general moments of stupidity but I gotta say currently I'm experiencing a severe and intense one of them...

I also wrote the following part in one of earliest posts called Letting Go:

"So, I'm hoping this blog here helps me out... 'cause I like to write... so instead of getting in touch with whoever that person is and saying what ever I need to say... I'll come here and write it, get it out of my system... get it off my chest... until I one day I just really let go..."

So here I am, venting my stupid moment on my blog rather than doing something stupid I would regret!

So.. my stupid moment is that moment when you miss someone you shouldn't be missing! I've this urging and itching feeling to get in touch with someone and I know it's getting me no where!

I've written the sms and deleted it, I've written the FB message and deleted it, I've prepared an e-mail (and that's still my drafts, hope I do delete it soon)... I've started dialing and stopped myself... I've rehearsed a call then changed my mind!

But I do have words that I have to say and I need to get them out out of my system so I'm writing this... because as a human I just need to vent sometimes! I need to talk about my feelings... because keeping them to myself more and more and more is just plain hectic! I'm tired of it! Because if don't get it out, I'll crack! Really soon!

As much as I wanna take action, say I miss you, see how things go... as much as I know it's stupid... as much I know it's pointless as much as I know it's heading no where, as much as I know it means more regret and feeling like a fool later...

As much as I wanna call it hope, second chances, trying to be better, sacrifice, compromise... on the other side there is another voice in me screaming: pride, you've tried enough, it's pointless, you'll get hurt AGAIN... and you're just being plain stupid!

As much as I want to believe that whatever words I have to say could have the ability to change things around, I know this dream or hope is driven merely by an intense wave of emotions and isn't true!

And as much I want to believe that if things do change around I will be happy... as much as I want to believe that something good can happen... a big part of me is uncertain, reminding me of how many times I've already tried and how many times I've already been hurt!

Part me of is slapping my in the face saying: Seriously! Haven't you had enough!? Where the hell is your sense of pride!? What on earth makes you think things will change? Didn't you say you won't be putting yourself in this damn position again!? Didn't you say it's that person's turn to make a move! Didn't you say even if that person makes a move you're plainly saying NO!

But the other side of me is answering simply: I can't help it! I'm willing to sacrifice if there is hope!

BUT reality, practicality and experience say: that's just stupid!

So i'm feeling stupid right now. I'm really trying hard to practice my ability to let go, my ability to stop myself and fight temptation of stupid emotions, I'm really trying to tell myself no!

But bigger than all those feelings I'm missing someone and neither can I do anything to bring me closer to that person nor can I stop this overwhelming and tiring feeling! And that just sucks!

And knowing that it's pointless and still being in denial and thinking about it... makes even stupider! Uff! Gosh!

I hate where I am now! This helpless and weak will is just a killer! And i hate it!

-sigh!

This is one post I'm not publicizing... this is one post I'm not sharing on Facebook and Twitter, maybe 'cause I hate how I'm feeling, maybe I'm embarrassed, maybe 'cause I hate being this weak and exposed and maybe 'cause I don't want everyone I know to see how stupid I am. I'm writing this because I just NEED to vent and let it out! So if you come across this post, as much as I want you to tell me to have hope and go for it, to trust my gut feeling, to get in touch to tell the person "I miss you", I would rather have you talk me out of it! Please!

The Moment of STUPIDITY...

So yeah... in my last post The Beautiful ME and You I spoke about how there are these amazingly, breath taking moments where we unconsciously allow allow our inner beauty to shine. I also spoke about how we should work more on not hiding this side of who we are... after all there is nothing wrong with being beautiful.

However... there is a side to us we need to work on minimizing! And that is our stupid moments! Ya... we must get them, its a part of life, but SERIOUSLY stupid moments make me feel stupid and I hate that!

I'd say a stupid moment is one defined as: you know the outcome is crap and you still do it hoping it would be different!

Some people would say it's hope! I'd say.. SERIOUSLY??!

For example... if you're dieting and dying to loose wait... do we honestly think "cheesecake" would go by unnoticed on the scale!? That's a clear moment of stupidity!

You tell someone you like him/her times and times again... and they still push us back... do we honestly think this time it would be different... if they changed their mind they'd come back on their own... unless we enjoy feeling bad and rejected, we're simply being stupid!

You tell a friend times and times again that something bothers you and obviously it's beyond their abilities to change... unless we're looking for another pointless argument, I suggest we become the bigger, better person and just move on!

You have work presentation... and you're tight on deadline and it's 12 am... work is in 8-9 hours... is it really time to check your Farm on Facebook, make sure your Mafia is doing well! Why are you signed in, in first place! So again... unless we enjoy looking like crap in big and important meetings... we're just being stupid!

The list can go on forever and ever! And the above are just simple stuff... there are many more complicated and serious examples!

These aren't stuff we should be hopeful about! We should be hopeful about things were outcomes are unknown, unexpected and likely to change... but some stuff... outcomes are crystal clear! And some of these stuff we can easily control with a minimal level of will and control!

This whole issue sums in self control... in our ability to tell ourselves NO! We NEED to teach ourselves when to fight back temptations that later lead us to sink in misery! - it is something I daily try to teach myself (desperately), 'cause I personally suck (big time) at say NO to myself (fore more examples on my greatest weakness you can check my post on letting go)!

SO... Why do we act stupid when we know the outcome?? I have no idea what so ever!

We act stupid... THEN we feel stupid, we feel like fools, we regret stuff... we get pissed, annoyed, frustrated... we start wishing we could turn back time, that things change... we keep whining about how unlucky we are and how life is unfair...

YET... the simple explanation is that we consciously decide to be stupid... knowing that we cannot handle the consequences... we still insist on doing it!

So let's try to have less stupid moments... more beautiful moments! That way we're all winners!