The Unwritten Social Rules...

Well there are some stuff we consider obvious... and I don't know why or who wrote it... but when you actually think about it, they don't necessarily make sense...

Here are some of them...

Your friends' ex-es are off limits... c'mon you should be over them... what if that exis your so called "the one?" What if that friend has 10 different ex-es, we just rule out opportunities...

The first one to speak after a fight is the weaker one... why can't we say he/she is the stronger one to over come his/her stupidity...

The one who says I love you first is the one to get hurt... well more or less, I gotta say this is kindda true...

That you can't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend in the beginning of a relationship that we need to excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom... especially if you're a girl you know its true... but c'mon we're all humans, going to the bathroom is only natural...

That if you ever come to admitting that you actually need the bathroom, you almost always just have to "pee"... well, I do agree it's kinda of a turn OFF to visualize your partner shitting (no offense) but it's also unnatural to imagine him/her not doing so... and again it's only natural....

Almost always, our first real relationship is a scam... Your first date doesn't go as planned, your first kiss doesn't go as planned... you almost always look back with regret! Why can't it be special... Why can't it be a movie...

Now AWAY from relationships...

Why do we think if we eat something fattening when no one can see us the calories don't count... like if no one saw us then it doesn't count! They do... and most probably you eat more once you feel you got the opportunity of being alone, so they count even more...

Once we say we're on a diet... we get hungrier and we crave things we never really ate, I hate spinach, when I diet I miss it... sad!

We only diet when we have a strong motive... other than that... we start we fail we start we fail we start we fail we start we fail...

The beginning of every week is the beginning of a new diet... then you realize you've been fake dieting for months and you haven't lost anything actually! I know... the "ugly truth!"

If you're chubby, fat or overweight... however your partner thinks you're beautiful... you right away stop thinking about dieting... why do we always want to look good for someone, why can't we look good for ourselves?

Why do we always have to lie about our weight even when we're fit and healthy... We always gotta pull back a few pounds!

AWAY from food....

We all talk to strangers... why can't we admit we sometimes its fun chatting with the unknown... why can't we admit that we often enjoy it more than talking to people we know...

How come shopping can sometimes make up for your worst day ever...

Home come we sometimes have the intention of "telling" our friends a certain detail about our lives yet once they ask us about it we feel reluctant to share the info...

Why is that after a certain age hearing that someone hooked up, got engaged, or got married makes us get a little fidgety... and we all feel the same way... admit it embrace it...

How come we never realize that the good moments were good moments until they're over... why can't we just learn to enjoy every moment for what it's worth...

You think if you insult someone in your head it doesn't count... well it does... you still have insulted him/her... and how come if someone tells you that he/she insulted you in their own head you get offended... hello, herd of karma?

WELL, the list can go on...
There are so many unwritten rules in life... things we just enforce and impose on our lives for no clear or avid reasons... But we take part in them naturally and thoughtlessly... Yet they're just stuff that we've created mentally and emotionally... And I personally don't know where or when they ever originated...

Back On Track!

So it's not new years and its not time for resolutions...

But as I said i said the following in my previous post, "New Year... Evolution or Illusion?:" 

"Change does happen, but it doesn't need a clock or a date or to dim out the lights and turn them on to a new you... change is timeless; can happen anywhere, anytime, anyhow...

Change happens when you intend for it to happen...

Change that is time bound is an illusion...

Change that you create is a true evolution...

You decide your own New Year... your New Year, your real evolution, begins when you take a good look at yourself and you realize: now is the time to change!"

So today... right now, I decided that this is my "new year" here are my resolutions:

1. Be more religious! Seriously, I need to get closer to God.
2. Pray more, daily.... once at least!
3. Pray at all time... not just when I need something!
4. Go to church regularly! Once a week, once every to weeks MAX!
5. Find a good service to do.
6. Go back to dieting, FIERCELY!
7. Move on, realistically!
8. Avoid denial and quick fixes! 
9. Forget the people who've chosen to forget me.
10. Focus on the people care and the ones who'll stick with me! 
11. Learn to let go (HOPEFULLY)!
12. Learn to shut up (PLEASE GOD)!
13. Learn  to say NO! 
14. Don't make exceptions for anyone, at any cost! No one is worth it.
15. Do good in the world.
16. Make a difference.
17. Let go of the stupid things that prevent me from being awesome.
18. Be more confident, I actually ROCK! 
19. STOP making stupid mistakes! 
20. STOP caring too much! 
21. Have fun!
22. Be cheerful again!
23. ABANDON the virtual world, except for blogging! 
24. Write.. write and write!
25. Make my blog well known! 
26. Find a passion!
27. Find a place to dump in all my negative energy! 
28. Teach!
29. Be happy and screw the world and people, it's a good change! 
30. Drive more, listening to music and singing along! It cures my soul! 
31. Take more long, boiling hot showers! 
32. Travel more!
33. Dance more, break routine and act stupid (Perfectly healthy)! 
34. Learn the value of myself (MOST IMPORTANTLY)! 

I'll be back on track! 
I will!
I must be back on track! 
It's my only way out!

Look What You Made Me Do!?

We often go through terrible experiences in our lives that put it in difficult, stressful and hectic emotional situations... situations that create heavy emotional burdens on us... and we try our best to find a way out of them. As a result, we turn to the nearest exit... the soonest way out in order to feel OKAY. Or perhaps tell ourselves that we're okay... even if it is just an illusion. And usually it is.

Anything to make you feel good again. Even if its temporary. And usually we do know that is bound to end. We think the distraction will do us good. But when this distraction is gone... we AGAIN get hurt. We think we won't but we do... so instead of feeling better, healing and moving on. We create more emotional scares for ourselves.

We don't find "new" reasons to feel happy! But we rather find "new" reasons to be hurt!

Most of the time... we often wake up from the exit when we find ourselves at another dead end.
This quick fix actually brings more trouble.
Because you fool yourself, you go through deep denial and therefore you take the very wrong decisions and you fall into bigger traps.
In stead of working on forgetting things that you want out of your system and moving on... you actually create more things to regret... you create more burdens and more mistakes...
You look around and you realize that the whole world has moved on and you're still right where you were... maybe even moving backwards.

When does a person learn... when do we actually move on. When do we actually stop fooling ourselves. When do we really move on free of denial... like get cured of this emotional shit we put ourselves through.

I do blame myself for moving from one trap to another. From one stupid mistake to an even bigger mistake. From one thing to regret to another crappy thing to regret!
But I also blame you.
I'm not mad at myself or others as much as I'm mad at you.
Seriously... in order to move on I took the wrong routes.
Really!
Look what you made me do!?

The "Message!"

We often have unanswered questions that we would like to find answers for. We over work our brains trying to analyze the situation in order to come out with the possible scenario we should follow. Even more; sometimes we already know the RIGHT answer but we try to find ways around in order to satisfy an inner desire or will that we have.

And that's OKAY! We all do that! It's part of the complicated people we've actually turned out to be. 

But fact is, when it comes down to it... we know the right answer! We know their is right and wrong! We know that what we want is really not the best for us. BUT we fight it so hard; we resist.

Denial creates this amazing bubble around us, making what we do seem like the right thing to do... telling us to enjoy the moment; do what feels good; that we only live once; that there is nothing wrong with stepping outside our comfort zones for a bit; that throwing the Rule Book away sometimes is okay!

BUT then... you get the MESSAGE!
And this message comes like a BIG stab in the heart! Reminding you that you're not on the right track! Flashing right in front of your eyes how you'd end up if you continue living in that bubble. The exact fruit you'd be yielding at the end. It comes right there out of the blue, as if God is sending you a clear message, slapping you in the face to wake up, get up and do something to change the situation around.

And don't be surprised how this message comes across. It could be in a direct form, like something you read in the Bible! Or indirect like a conversation you overhear; a movie you see; a book you read; a song you hear; a show you watch; a joke you hear! But the irony of the situation is that once you see or hear the message, something in you pinches! It hits right on the spot. And it hurts! It's like the message is speaking to you directly!

At first it frustrates you... then you think... then you realize... and finally you decide how you'd react!

The message can come to you as a rescue, reinforcing something you've been wanting to do for a while. OR you may hate it; because AT LEAST you didn't want that message right now. You wanted to enjoy your denial just a little longer!

And there are two scenarios to how you'd react to the message... 
Your guilt conscious drives you nuts and you go back on track...
OR you fall into deeper denial, telling yourself it was just coincidence... and you move in the direction where you were going. And if that happens; I'm not exactly sure when the next message comes along. If another rescue would be on the way.

I'm the first type of people. My conscious can seriously eat me up alive! Sometimes like a party pooper because denial is sometimes an awesome place to be at! But because I know that this was the right thing all along... I thank God for the message! The sooner, the better. Before the lie you're living turn into reality... before it is too late to withdraw... before the consequences become to hard to handle.

When I get the message I right away act upon it even if it may mean I get out of the amazing bubble sometimes! 

See to Believe...

We are often told a piece of information... and who ever shares it with us, assures us that it is true! Yet, for some unknown reason, we subconsciously refuse to believe it to be true...

We choose to live in denial either because what we've herd is just damn impossible or because what we believe just makes us feel a lot better than reality. Or maybe we fool ourselves by still believing in our gut feelings, which keeps nagging about how much whatever we believe is true! Even more, you could be someone like me who just has massive issues letting go!

And speaking from personal experience this denial can last for days, weeks or EVEN months... up UNTIL we get the wake UP call! We keep fighting and fighting the truth, searching for ways to defy it and prove it wrong... until we reach something! And this something, usually the ugly moment of truth, slaps us hard on the face! It tells you bluntly and clearly that what you've actually denied has always been TRUE!

I wish I believe things when I HEAR them... that would be easier and less hurtful! But to wait till I SEE things... this direct encounter with the truth... hurts more! If we just believe it from day one, we'd save ourselves from this harsh confrontation with reality!

Point is... our choices makes up end up here! All we can hope for, is to one day learn the lesson! 

                                                                              

~Sigh!

Distraction...

Well, related to my previous post, Lost, I've taken up whatever things I could possibly take or do to distract myself. As I said, anything that makes you go through the night... anything to divert your thoughts from what you should really be focused on.

However, distraction is not always positive. Distraction could lead to destruction! 

Sometimes you get yourself into more trouble just to get yourself out of some mess! Sometimes fooling yourself, your feel and brains is even more hectic and energy draining.

I also spoke earlier about the moments of stupidity that we go through and acknowledging that what you're doing is somewhat stupid. And I gotta say most of the time when you're trying to distract yourself from something you end up doing something stupid... which you later regret!

It also leads to destruction because once you decide to stop and go back to reality you realize that you're really right where you always where! That being in denial and that keeping yourself "fake-ly" distracted will just make everything crumble over your head suddenly! And that would be real trouble. When you think you've moved on, but you're actually right where you are!

~sigh!

When Do Boys Grow Up...

Whoever said boys will be boys is smart!

I could really end my post here! LOL! I’m sure all girls are like Yeah… and the guys… well you all know I’m right! LOL!

So seriously, when do boys ever grow up? NEVER! I don’t think they ever do. They always want someone taking care of them and telling them what to wear and what to eat and where to go...

I mean, girls seem to be more dependent but the truth is, a guy throws everything on the any girl/ woman in his life... he needs to be taken care of like a kid. I won’t deny sometimes it nice to take care of them, but generally speaking, they’ve become more dependent!

Boys… well... they usually do not do jack around the house… they wanna find nice meals, they wanna find their laundry done, they wanna have their clothes ironed… they sometimes dunno where their clothes are… LOL!

When they’re kids… they ask to be fed (actually they always ask to be fed)….

When they’re teens… they complain about their unwashed pair of jeans (again they do that throughout their lives)…

When they’re adults… they get to be the careless and cheesy ones? (I sense my jealousy)

When they’re married… well they play with the kids (that's positive by the way)... but they don’t study for them, or clean them up or help with the dishes. LOL! Sometimes they even ask random questions like where are my socks! Seriously dude?! Why should I know where your socks are!?

They grow older… they want you to make them tea, coffee, remember the soccer matches they wanna watch… LOL!

If you work with them (in class, in uni, at work...) they expect you to be the one in charge, the one who remembers details, the ones who puts things together...

It's endless...

If you have any boy in your life… a kid, a brother, a parent, a classmate, a friend, a boy friend, a husband… whatever he is… he’ll always be the kid… and he’ll always want and "need" to be taken care of! 

The funny part is… they’re in denial… they’re fit for claiming to be MACHOS… they believe that working and being required to make money and provide for a family is the ULTIMATUM... but seriously girls endure more... they handle more pressure, they work harder, they deal with a lot of biological crap, they multitask better and have more expectations to meet than guys...
Also endless :P

Boys can actually go on forever about how much stronger and more responsible they are… well my answer to that is… YEAH RIGHT!

Boys will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be boys and that just makes me laugh…
The ACTUAL piss off is that… we still can’t live without them! LOL! See… one good thing about you all to end with :P

Again... despite all the above mentioned, there are few exceptions... another good note!