Back On Track!

So it's not new years and its not time for resolutions...

But as I said i said the following in my previous post, "New Year... Evolution or Illusion?:" 

"Change does happen, but it doesn't need a clock or a date or to dim out the lights and turn them on to a new you... change is timeless; can happen anywhere, anytime, anyhow...

Change happens when you intend for it to happen...

Change that is time bound is an illusion...

Change that you create is a true evolution...

You decide your own New Year... your New Year, your real evolution, begins when you take a good look at yourself and you realize: now is the time to change!"

So today... right now, I decided that this is my "new year" here are my resolutions:

1. Be more religious! Seriously, I need to get closer to God.
2. Pray more, daily.... once at least!
3. Pray at all time... not just when I need something!
4. Go to church regularly! Once a week, once every to weeks MAX!
5. Find a good service to do.
6. Go back to dieting, FIERCELY!
7. Move on, realistically!
8. Avoid denial and quick fixes! 
9. Forget the people who've chosen to forget me.
10. Focus on the people care and the ones who'll stick with me! 
11. Learn to let go (HOPEFULLY)!
12. Learn to shut up (PLEASE GOD)!
13. Learn  to say NO! 
14. Don't make exceptions for anyone, at any cost! No one is worth it.
15. Do good in the world.
16. Make a difference.
17. Let go of the stupid things that prevent me from being awesome.
18. Be more confident, I actually ROCK! 
19. STOP making stupid mistakes! 
20. STOP caring too much! 
21. Have fun!
22. Be cheerful again!
23. ABANDON the virtual world, except for blogging! 
24. Write.. write and write!
25. Make my blog well known! 
26. Find a passion!
27. Find a place to dump in all my negative energy! 
28. Teach!
29. Be happy and screw the world and people, it's a good change! 
30. Drive more, listening to music and singing along! It cures my soul! 
31. Take more long, boiling hot showers! 
32. Travel more!
33. Dance more, break routine and act stupid (Perfectly healthy)! 
34. Learn the value of myself (MOST IMPORTANTLY)! 

I'll be back on track! 
I will!
I must be back on track! 
It's my only way out!

A Year of Blogging!

So, I can't believe it, I've been blogging for a year already! Time does fly! I still get excited about writing a new post and checking the stats to see if people liked it or hated it! I also still do get excited about the number of comments and likes I get. It's kind of rewarding!

Even more, the whole experience of blogging that Garbage of the Soul has given me is great. The fact that I can come here and write whatever comes to mind is amazing. And believe it or not it is quite relieving... getting things off my chest and feeling like I vent about whatever bothers me is soul enhancing!

It's also more interesting when I have people tell me that they really relate to what I write. It means that although this blog is basically just about me, there are people out there who feel I make sense. That all this craziness in me and these contradicting emotions really have some sanity in them. It's also appeasing to know that what I write may stand a chance of giving relief to someone else.

Over the year the most constant criticism I got revolved around the name of my blog! Well, it could take people back a little, however I don't mean that what I write is trashy, it just means that this blog is a place where I can come in and dump all my thoughts and emotions into writing, hence clearing up and reviving my Soul! ~ it kindda makes sense if you think about it!


Anyways, here are the TOP 10 posts you all have enjoyed over the course of this year! In case you've missed them, take a chance to look at them when you can. Here they are; the highest read on top of the list:
GIRL in Egypt...
FACE Your Relationship Issues!
Laughing At Me...
Letting Go...
The Perfect Life of Others...
I'm BLESSED...
Let the Make Over Begin...
I'm PISSED!
Super Mommy :)
The Focal Point Of Our Lives…

Looking forward to another year of MORE blogging!

Remember to always let me know what you think :)

Procrastination Queen...

I think if there is an award for the number one world procrastinator I would really have a BIG shot at winning. I honestly have a major problem at getting important things done. I manage to waste time pretty much doing everything and anything except what I should be doing...

Let's take today as an example... I woke up 9:30 a.m. with a 100% intention that I'd focus on my thesis... I promised myself I'd make use of this week, that God has gifted me with, in order to finish my thesis... So my agenda for today's thesis included:

• Reviewing at least a 100 surveys in order to remove invalid ones
• Data entry of at least 80 surveys 
• Reviewing my intro and literature review for spelling and grammatical errors

I've promised myself that I'd get this done, and if I finish those I'd take the rest of the day off, have a little fun and do my 1 hour workout that I promised myself I'd do...

Anyhow, it's 4:40 pm and this is what I've done so far in my day:

• 10:00 - 10:30 fooling around with my sister's new iPad
• 10:30 - 10:45 drinking coffee
• 10:45 - 12:00 decided I'd re-design how my blog looks
• 12:00 - 12:30 walking around home, talking to family, eating a banana 
• 12:-30 - 1:20 watching latest episode of Desperate Housewives
• 1:20 - 2:00 Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 2:00 - 3:00 lunch 
• 3:00 - 3:45 watching yesterday's Grey's Anatomy episode
• 3:45 - 4:15 FINALLY I reviewed 20 surveys
• 4:15 - 4:35 coffee "break" and more Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 4:35 - now since my status was on FB and Twitter was that I'm a pro at wasting time, I ended up here, writing this...

So... Ya... I'm the queen of procrastination... Sadly, I can't even being to explain how much I need to focus and get my work done... I honestly have to. This 10 day holiday is really my savior to finishing my Masters and I have to use it well.. 

Point is, when I end up wasting time, neither do I get the job done nor do I have fun. I'm just stuck at home under the illusion that I'm working, when I'm not. So really, if I'm home, I should get it done.. If I plan to procrastinate, I should just get up, go out and have some real fun!

Needless to say that I just bought a novel on Wednesday and it's sitting right next to me now and I'm fighting temptation not to grab it and start reading!

Now that I've let out my anger towards my poor time management skills, I'm hoping I really get back and do what I planned for to do at the beginning of this day.

And I hope I get my one hour workout! I need it too! 

C ya :) 

~ Let's say it would take me another 15 mins to color and format this post... plus I hear some fight in the street that I'm going to check out. Hopefully by 5 pm, I'll be back on track! At least I'm a queen at something, lol! 

Cheer Me Up Mado!!!

Well by now I'm a pro on my own self cheering up! Yesterday I felt like crap... if you came across my blog you'd have noticed from the FOUR miserable posts (Lost, Distraction, CTRL & My Freaking Enemy...) that I've written that I was pretty much going down the drain!

HOWEVER...
Today, I'm different... I'm more laid back and chilled! Today... I'm smiling!

Do I sound disturbed!? LOL! Ya, I do, even to me... but hell with it! I'm realistic, yesterday I felt like shit! Today I don't! It happens! Today I decided to cheer myself and smile! I decided maybe I shouldn't really make it get to me badly! I decided even if I don't really feel at ease, I should smile and not think about it!

ANYHOW...
Let me tell you my plan on self mediating and cheering up! 

I gotta say, my blog has served me well. I'm the kindda person who feels better after I really express myself!  I write whatever I feel down and BINGO I feel better. If you ask me why, I'd simply tell you, it's amazing to get things off your chest!

For me... if something is annoying me, I need to get it out and speak about it. I need to express it and get it out of my system. I also figured that people don't always wanna hear about my personal issues! No one wants someone who really complains a lot, or makes a big deal outta every single emotion! SO that's where my dear precious blog kicks in. I get out whatever I've got bottled inside out... hence I call it, Garbage of the Soul! --- um, smart ain't I.

True, some people may read it and decide for themselves that I'm a whiner! But, really this is my personal space where I'm entitled to say whatever I want! I've created this blog to help myself feel better, to come and write it down here rather than exploding elsewhere! If they still find it quite disturbing to read... there is a lil "x" up in the corner that they're so likely welcomed to click on! LOL! I don't mean to be rude! But seriously, if no one is willing to hear me out, I might as well find a place to vent! Hehe!

Additionally, I got up this morning, got into my car, my sanctuary, rolled the windows down... hit the music to full blast! I let the cool chilly breeze run through my hair, putting an idiotic smile across my face and sung on the top my lungs with the music and I might have danced a lil :)  and I gotta tell you this insane, kiddish, idiotic feeling is all it really takes to make feel brand new! Makes me relieved... helps me push out all the negative energy I got bottled up. And I do smile a lot and laugh insanely when someone looks at me like I'm crazy!

So ya... yesterday I did feel like crap! I was at the bottom of ocean... pretty much felt like drowning! Today, regardless of what I might be feeling deep down, I'm back on the top floating! At least I'm smiling... and I'm looking forward to get back into the car and enjoy myself again!

So really, all it takes to cheer one is is him/herself! I don't need anyone to come and lift my ego...Me, myself and I are pretty much good at it :) So when I'm down, I know what it takes to make me feel better! I call on the one person I trust, the one person who is always there for me, and I tell her: Cheer Me Up Mado!!! She usually pulls it together, gets over herself and is there for me! 

How I Started Writing....

Well since you are reading my stuff, I think I owe it to you all to tell you how I started writing...

I've always loved reading... I read a lot when I was in school, used to burrow 3 books from the library per week... I really miss our school librarian by the way, she often crosses my mind, and I guess we can call each other friends... lol! Anyway...

So I read a lot, and then in 6th grade we had to read this awesome novel called The Outsiders, by S. E. Hinton... and let me tell u I loved this novel beyond imagination... and I read it over and over and over (I still have a copy and read it till today) and then on my second time reading it, I decided to read that page about the author, the page we often choose to skip and I realized, Hinton had her first book published at 16... and there you go... that was my first motivation....

Being a reader, I had a wide imagination, and there were a lot of stuff I read that I had stored, stuff I read that I wished were written differently, stories I wanted to change their endings, and climaxes that I wanted to emphasize... So... I started writing...

Most of my 6th grade stuff were short and crap to be honest... but I didn't give up... I tried and tried again... and I started writing this story, which I honestly never found a title for until today... and then... in 9th grade, I had an amazing English teacher, which I still remember everyday and hope I can get any contact with her, and she made us write diary entries... which I first thought was really corny and then trust me by the middle of the school year Miss Mais was probably the person who knew my deepest and darkest secrets!

So... I gave her my story to read and she really encouraged me...

And ever since I wrote 2 short stories and a lot of poetry, a habit which I started in 12th grade... but I only write poems when I feel a certain way... more like depressed or confused... anyhow... I write poems...

And most recently, my good friend Salsa started her blog  and that gave me an idea.... so I started paying more attention to blogs, and came across really nice ones, like Single Dad Laughing, and I got even more motivated and inspired!

So these are basically what I've written so far 2 stories and poems...

Sometimes I write diary entries as well... but being the very un-trusting person I am, I tore every entry after writing it, so it wouldn’t fall into anyone’s hands… I have problems feeling exposed! lol!

Anyhow so this is how I started writing.... and this is where I am today :)