Procrastination Queen...

I think if there is an award for the number one world procrastinator I would really have a BIG shot at winning. I honestly have a major problem at getting important things done. I manage to waste time pretty much doing everything and anything except what I should be doing...

Let's take today as an example... I woke up 9:30 a.m. with a 100% intention that I'd focus on my thesis... I promised myself I'd make use of this week, that God has gifted me with, in order to finish my thesis... So my agenda for today's thesis included:

• Reviewing at least a 100 surveys in order to remove invalid ones
• Data entry of at least 80 surveys 
• Reviewing my intro and literature review for spelling and grammatical errors

I've promised myself that I'd get this done, and if I finish those I'd take the rest of the day off, have a little fun and do my 1 hour workout that I promised myself I'd do...

Anyhow, it's 4:40 pm and this is what I've done so far in my day:

• 10:00 - 10:30 fooling around with my sister's new iPad
• 10:30 - 10:45 drinking coffee
• 10:45 - 12:00 decided I'd re-design how my blog looks
• 12:00 - 12:30 walking around home, talking to family, eating a banana 
• 12:-30 - 1:20 watching latest episode of Desperate Housewives
• 1:20 - 2:00 Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 2:00 - 3:00 lunch 
• 3:00 - 3:45 watching yesterday's Grey's Anatomy episode
• 3:45 - 4:15 FINALLY I reviewed 20 surveys
• 4:15 - 4:35 coffee "break" and more Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 4:35 - now since my status was on FB and Twitter was that I'm a pro at wasting time, I ended up here, writing this...

So... Ya... I'm the queen of procrastination... Sadly, I can't even being to explain how much I need to focus and get my work done... I honestly have to. This 10 day holiday is really my savior to finishing my Masters and I have to use it well.. 

Point is, when I end up wasting time, neither do I get the job done nor do I have fun. I'm just stuck at home under the illusion that I'm working, when I'm not. So really, if I'm home, I should get it done.. If I plan to procrastinate, I should just get up, go out and have some real fun!

Needless to say that I just bought a novel on Wednesday and it's sitting right next to me now and I'm fighting temptation not to grab it and start reading!

Now that I've let out my anger towards my poor time management skills, I'm hoping I really get back and do what I planned for to do at the beginning of this day.

And I hope I get my one hour workout! I need it too! 

C ya :) 

~ Let's say it would take me another 15 mins to color and format this post... plus I hear some fight in the street that I'm going to check out. Hopefully by 5 pm, I'll be back on track! At least I'm a queen at something, lol! 

Lost..

Lately I'm just lost.

Too much of everything is going on and I'm not focused on any of them. There is too much work, too much studying, too much emotions, too many activities, a lot of drama, a lot of terrible discoveries, a lot of mixed feelings, a lot of personal conflicts, a lot of undefined emotions... 

I personally don't know if I'm okay! I'm just letting the days slip. All similar to one another. I'm fooling myself saying I'm okie... saying since the days are rolling it means I'm okie... but whenever I have a free minute, when I look deeply into my life I realize I'm a mess! A walking wreck! 

When I really think about I realize nothing is actually going right! I feel I have too many problems to really know where to start. So I choose to let it all go... fool myself into saying things didn't really happen! 

If you ask me why am I bringing it up now... I'd tell you last three - four weeks have been incredibly insane... in every aspect... and I'm still holding up. Every time I come to get into the details of the events I fall in disbelief and choose not to. I prefer ignoring them and being in denial for a change... 

My plan is basically to drain my energy out so when the night hits, I simply fall flat on my face and sleep in no time, giving myself no time to thing. 

I'm choosing to be lost because if I think too much I'll end up depressed and in loads of self pitty. So I'm choosing indifference. It's bugging me that I can't really define how I feel, but all I can say is that indifference seems to doing me right at the moment! I'd rather be lost than focused on the amount of crap I got going on! 

Oh well whatever... it's really whatever makes you go through the night!

Achievement...

I had a completely different post planned for today.... UNTIL I got the results of the most important and hardest exam I ever had to take in my life...

I PASSED!!

And the feeling of achievement is KICK ASS...

I love it!

I'm very thankful...

I'm very happy....

And I can't help but smile :)

Feeling you've achieved something, you've moved forward, you've gotten closer to getting to where you want.... is just great!

Now, I'm closer to finishing my Masters :)

Achieving something you've been working hard for gives you confidence in your abilities and what you can do! 

And achieving something you've been praying for tells you God is listening... and that is the best part of this whole thing! I'm really just very thankful :)

And I thought I'd have something more to say... but I don't!

I just love the feeling :)

I'm honestly very happy...