Reasons We Girls Smile...

There are so many reasons why we girls smile... Sometimes they're honest smiles and sometimes they're not... most probably every smile we've got has it's own meaning... a meaning we only know deep down because it reveals our true intentions...

We might smile because we really like someone or what's going on, or we might smile because we want to pretend like we like what's going on.

There is a smile that carries a lot of innocence with every thing this word could mean... and there is a smile that could carry seduction and an evil plan....

We might smile because we honestly carry good feelings for the moment or we could smile to hide loads of hatred and disappointment...

We might smile because we've just seen you, herd your voice or have you near...

We might smile because we're really out of words, nothing in the world would say how we feel or we could just have nothing to say and we're trying to avoid conversation. We might smile because we're completely indulged in whatever it is you're saying or we're just trying to seem interested...

Our smile could really mean we're truly happy and dancing deep inside or we could be smiling in order to hide utter and complete sadness and heart break...

We might smile because you're funny, or because we want you to think you're funny. Because we get what you mean or because we actually want to get you!

There is a smile that shows excitement, support and pleasure and there is one that hides anxiety, panic and fear...

We might smile because we love you or we might smile to make you think we love you. We might also smile in hopes that you would love us back. We might smile because we have you in our life, we might smile just thinking about you and we might smile because you just walked away.

We might smile as a replacement to saying we love you, we miss you, to thank you or to let you know we're happy you're there...

Sometimes we smile because you've taken us by great surprise...  or to hide the fact that we were expecting more..

We could smile at an inside joke we share or at the fact that we share nothing...

Sometimes we smile because we know it makes us look good...

Our smile could be naive and could mean that we fell for your game or it could mean that we're smiling because we know exactly what's going on and that we're being played.

We might smile because we've gone shopping and even more we smile because you're the one who paid...

We might smile because we know it makes you feel good and secure that things are okay...

Girls smile for so many different reasons... some are good and honest, coming deep from the heart and some are deceiving. Most of the time they're true smiles... Point is a girl's smile is always a charm... it's your call to know what that smile carries deep down because most probably... we'd never tell :)

Laughing At Me...

So with years I've learned that the best technique to escaping an embarrassing situation is to laugh at yourself with the people rather than watching them laugh at you with humility... so here is a list of some of the embarrassing moments in my life, that I may have not laughed at back then... but now I say what the hell:

Having my shoe fly in the face of one of the hottest/cutest guys in school...

Always being compared to my older sis in school for being an angel... "why can't you just be like her?" 

Having my sister's name called instead of mine during MY school ceremonies simply because my teacher taught her before...
Being wrapped in aluminum foil for a school play because the custom designer was probably too lazy to design a custom and with every move I'd hear a crack and rip...

Actually being an alien in front of the entire school in senior year is more embarrassing...

Herd the expression circumcision in Arabic for the first time while I was in university and asking public ally out loud... "Dr. what do you mean by...," okie we all know participation isn't always impressive!

My economics professor telling me in front of the entire class: "ady da2ny law etgawezti (i.e. you're never getting married) because I couldn't answer the question: what are kitchen utensils made from... apparently he had vision, lol!
My first "set up" date, I remember the guy talking about himself throughout, none stop, so interrupted.... "I'm sorry when do I get to speak?" - awkward moment of silence! Not sure my friend ever tried setting my up again! 

This guy in school used to call me everyday to ask me what the homework was, my dad once picked up and told him, "it's impossible you never write the homework... starting writing, stop calling!" We were in 6th grade, talk about defamation to my social presence! Thank God we now have cell phones! 

I have a pair of driving shoes so I don't mess up the heels of my good shoes... anyways, I start walking down the street and everyone is giving me the weird look, so I give them the "what the hell is your problem" look..." I later realize I'm walking around with different shoe pairs..one blue and fancy and the other one is white and crappy!

First few weeks at work, I really had nothing to do... so I decided to watch the latest episode of Desperate Housewives to kill time. A person from IT walks in and says he needs to check something with the connection... thoughtlessly, I give him the laptop... only to find me watching two people making out on screen! I'm the new girl and I don't know what he thinks I watch in work! Good he left work! Lol!

So I was born and raised in Saudi, where women can't drive or do much. Anyways, it was the Egyptian/Arab Mother's day which happens to be in March and my dad was away and I really wanted to get my mom flowers! Anyways, I asked a friend to get me the followers to school 'cause I just can't drive around! He does a great job and gets them to me... he walks in first period with a big bouquet and asks my teacher, "can I speak to Madonna?" My teacher says, "we're in the middle of class." Once the guy leaves my teacher looks me at and asks, " did he have flowers?" So I'm like... yaaa... so he says, "Go Madonna... run after him.... these moments don't happen a lot in life!" Trust me it would have been more embarrassing if I said they were for my mom! 

Me and my friends decided to have a dish party and this time I told my mom, I'm cooking... you just rest! I ended up using hair oil instead of cooking oil! Crap! 

Every time I go anywhere and people know a "Madonna" exists in the room, they start faking the most American, cool accent and ask, "where is MadOnnnaaaA?" I raise my hand and the look on their face is like... "oh it's you... wutever!" You can tell they're were looking for a hot blondie! 

This is what I have in mind for now... may be later I do an embarrassing moment part 2 when I regain some of my memories

My Decision To Be Optimistic...

So don't ask me why... I really have no good reason for it... but I'm sick and tired of being in a crappy mood either over things I cannot change, cannot control or things and people who aren't worth it!

So I've decided that for a change... a very big change... I'm gonna be optimistic... I'm gonna say: screw it and I'l enjoy my time!

I've been in grumpy mood for the last two years probably! For all the wrong and shitty reasons! Reasons, that I'm probably the only one holding on to while everyone else has simply moved on!

I don't blame others for my inability to move on... but if other involved people don't care then why the hell should I! I mean it; technically it doesn't make sense? If I'm upset a friend has been slacking off and not caring about a friendship lost then what the hell am I upset about! If I'm upset life hasn't turned out as planned in some areas... hell with it.. I'm going to enjoy whatever there is to enjoy!

I can't keep waiting for people to change or hoping they realize they've been asses to me! I can't sit here regretting things I've done or feeling guilty for shit I messed up in... I can't stay upset over opportunities lost! What ever history, is just history!

And I only blame myself for letting all those things get to me! Whatever... I'm moving on! I'm even pissed at myself for all the time I wasted on crappy people, things and feelings!

I'm really starting to feel jealous of people who have peace of mind! I mean for God's sake I deserve that too! And I know I should be telling this to myself before anyone else! Lately worrying about everything and anything has just made me this crappy unbearable person! I'm worrying about crap I seriously cannot do anything about! I'm carrying my weight and everyone else's over my freakin shoulders!

So ya... for a change I won't care about anyone but me... I won't let anything get to me! Too much worrying has made me feel like I'm 50... and I'm not! So I'm gonna act my age, which is 25 and I'm gonna have fun and be optimistic!

I'm gonna go back to being outgoing, fun, energetic, smiley and I'll gain back my sense of humor... which will be cheerful laughter rather than sad sarcastic irony!

Seriously, I've come to a conclusion... simply SCREW everything, nothing is worth it! No matter what you mention! :)

- Sigh!