The Country Person in Me...

A lot of people call me picky... and I think I am. I've come in terms with it. But recently I did realize that I'm very hard to please. I came to Dubai and I wasn't exactly impressed by the country. And lately I've been to NY, and I wasn't impressed either... When people hear that some get annoyed, they think I'm being too snobby... other are sarcastic... and some people even get defensive (don't ask about that)!

So I gave it some thought and I realized I'm not a city person... really! Cities are nice to go to for a few hours, spend a night... go crazy every once in a while.. but to live in these BIG ass, huge, fancy cities isn't something I aspire too... Tall buildings (no matter how glamorous) don't impress me. On the contrary... they stress me out... City lights and billboards hurt my eyes. Traffic... well that brings the worst out of me!

I live in Cairo (originally)... and that is one hell of a city! You've got the buildings, the traffic, the huge population, the pollution, the honking, the beeping, the sellers, the beggars, the lights, the tunnels, the bridges... it's the true definition of a busy city. And I love it.. because it's my hometown... but if I'm going on a holiday... Nopes, I don't want to be in another stressful location. I want a nicer, calmer place to be in. So ya NY was fun for a few days but I don't have the urge to go back there again... that's not what I consider a holiday. I take holiday to relax... not ones that send me back home more stressful.

It's cool to claim that I'm a city girl, the big star, the hot shot! But I'm not. If I ever have to leave Egypt I'd want to move some place quieter... greener... houses not apartments... ride a bike... walk a dog, have a decent walk... enjoy my backyard... park in my own garage...  Some place where I'm surrounded by nature, trees, flowers and a lake... Some place where i can relax after work... generally have a peaceful life!

So ya... it makes me sound boring... but I am a country side person! I can always go to the city... Enjoy it for a night, a weekend... but my day to day life... I'd want to be in a place that helps me think... helps me recharge... free my mind... enjoy beauty and value SILENCE.

Egypt... I Miss You!

So you know, no matter how much you complain when you're back home about how you'd love a new  experience and how much you need the change, like that would be the solution to all your problems. Let me tell you that is not always the case.

No matter how happy you are wherever you are and no matter how impressed you are by which ever city you land upon; even if it's supposedly one of the best in the world... you will still be homesick.

And regardless of the many problems and complexities that come along with the baggage of being home; you'd be surprised that when you're home with your family, the people you love and the streets you know best (despite their insanity) you are in your comfort zone. You don't have "major" issues to worry about it. Being away from home and alone makes you worry. Makes you fear things you never thought about and makes you realize what is really important for you.You don't realize how easy your life actually is when you are worry free. And yes, regardless of the never ending mess Egypt is going through, it is EASY!!!

It's home... you can't ask why or how or be surprised, but you just love it to the bones.
In the end there is no place like home.

I'm homesick. 
Being away from you sucks; and having to watch you on the news sucks even more.
I miss my family, my friends, my home, my room, my bed, my car, my old job, Egyptian people, our streets, our smiles, our music in the streets, our problems, our food, our traffic, our spirit, our humor... I miss my comfort zone!

I miss Egypt! I miss home!

My Pre- Jan. 25th Fears...

WARNING: content of this post is naive, superficial and would piss off most political activists.... I acknowledge this and apologize for it, so please don't attack! 

So a year from Jan. 25 and the entire revolutionary road we've been travelling on in Egypt... I look back and think if this revolution has bough us any good! And unfortunately my answer is NO! As much as I would like to think of the so many positive things this revolution has brought upon us; such as freedom, hope and a boost optimism; I would still have to pass!

On the other hand... all I see is dead people, people living with lifetime cruel disabilities, no safety, messed up tourism, a dull tomorrow and my screwed UP social lief! And this post is dedicated to the last point with all the ignorance and simplicity that this sentence carries.

So ever since the so called Jan 25th Revolution my social life has been going a downward slope. My parents have been on a panic frenzy... where any unnecessary road trip (in their wise opinion) has become a taboo. If it's not work or a must go "homework" outing... then most probably they prefer that I stay at home.

Suddenly 8 pm has become late hour... any dark hour is after curfew. Any "outing" that is not in my home zone is simply far. I've forgotten how Mohandesin, Zamalek and Tahrir look like. Suddenly these places have been restricted to "business meetings" only... and trust me if they can ask me to pass on these too, they would have done it!

Going out after work is a "no, no" because it's dark already... going out on weekends is usually done in day light.

Knowing that my friends are out late and want me to join has become a burden. Let alone internal traveling and a wedding or engagement.

My list of 101 excuses of how to skip an outing because it's an unsafe and my parents would freak out has become obvious!

My age and curfew are suddenly having an inverse relationship! And trust me that's not fun! Let alone saying that I have a curfew in first place (but that is something we can discuss later)!

My life is summarized into: work, business meetings, the mall, a birthday, a wedding, the doctor, university, or a funeral because these are the must haves of life... plus a few random outings here and there (and by there I mean a far awayyyyy there) to be honest. Anything else would need debate, discussion and comprise from me, my friends and the universe probably!

Everything has become unsafe! And they do hold some sanity in their argument, I give them that! However I'd have say 85% of it is simply freaking out! But to them, better safe than sorry! And to me, I've chosen to at least buy my own peace of mind and roll with their game! 

My social life has been screwed up... thanks to this revolution. It's honestly annoying me to the bones. If there was a positive trade off in return... I would have seen it and said "okie, my social life got screwed up for a cause and a good reason!" But seriously... I don't see any and I'm just annoyed! Sorry to say! 

So we're almost a year away since Jan. 25th, 2011... and we're all crossing our fingers with what to expect regarding what will happen on the so called Revolution Anniversary. I hope things settle down cause this isn't the life is signed up for... I support the political cause but this really isn't the plan I had for my life... I hope the coming Jan. 25th doesn't screw my life up even more!

So my hopes for the new revolutions are: to get back the security I previously took for granted and gain back my social life!


~ I've warned you! 

"2011"... Hmm... Eventful...

The simplest word the could be used to describe 2011 is eventful...

We've often gone through years and called them "bad years," we often say that when we feel things aren't going too well on the personal level. However, 2011 is really a bad year if you ask anyone... more like on a global level!

The first few days or months of the year were seriously stressing and surprising. Almost everyday a new mind blowing event took place.

So let's overlook what happened this year...

Jan. 1: First few minutes of the year witnessed a terrorist attack on a church in Alexandria, Egypt as people celebrated New Year

Jan. 9 to 15: Southern Sudan referendum took place

Jan 11: flood in Rio de Janeiro

Jan. 14: Tunisian government fell and ex-president Zine El Abdine Ben Ali flees to Saudi Arabia

Jan. 24: Moscow airport bombing

Jan 25: Egyptian Revolution starts

Feb 11: ex-President Hosni Mubarak resigns and Egypt goes under military rule

March 11: earthquake and tsunami in Japan killing more than 15 thousand and more than 4 thousand reported missing

March 15: uprising in Bahrain and state goes under emergency law for months

March 17: uprising in Libya starts asking for government withdrawal and lasts until today...

April 29: Price William and Catherine Middleton get married (finally some good news)!

May 1: Osama Bin Ladin announced dead

June 5: uprising in Yemen and president Ali Abdalla Saleh flees to Saudi Arabia for medical treatment after presidential palace has been under attack

June 12: uprising in Syria to bring down the government starts

July 9: Sudan separated into the North and South

July 20: UN declares famine in South Somalia

July 22: terrorist attack in Norway

July 31: Syrian uprising intensifies, death toll reaches over 3 thousand, still on until today

Aug. 9: first on air trial for ex-president Mubarak

Aug. 20: Libyan uprising intensifies

Sept. 10: Kenya petrol pipeline explodes

Sept. 24: Palestine applies for membership in UN

Sept. 24: a 20 year old 6.5 ton satellite falls into the Pacific Ocean

Oct. 4: car bomb in Somalia leaves 100 people dead

Oct. 4: 283 people dead in Thailand flood

Oct. 5: Steve Jobs passed away

Oct. 9: Maspero, Cairo massacre, leaving at least 28 dead

Oct. 20: Ex-president of Libya, Qaddafi is killed

Oct. 23: Massive earthquake in Turkey killing 603 person

Nov. 22: Egyptian Revolution Re-loaded

Dec. 15: US finally declares an end to the war on Iraq

Dec. 16: Tropical Storm Washi hits Philippines

I wouldn't be surprised if I missed anything major; I tried keeping track... If you wanna add anything please go ahead :)

I'm posting this hours before the end of 2011 and I got to say... I wont be surprised if something else happens before it strikes 12 am! But I'm seriously hoping for the best!

So again; least to say... eventful!

I'm PISSED!

So... me being a Copt in Egypt... I can clearly admit that this post will be biased!

But I'm seriously and honestly pissed at whatever is happening in Egypt... and particularly to us as a minority group, and yes we are a minority treated like a minority! I keep trying to keep politics outside my blog but with every passing day the situation is getting worst and worst and it is becoming unavoidable! And ignoring it just means I'm another hypocrite!

Let me flash back to Jan. 25... Egyptian Christians, or let me say most or some of them, were accused of being passive... that they don't care about their "home" land... that they don't want to participate in creating a "better future" for themselves... that they are watchers not do-ers... that we are supportive of the old regime... that they're leaving other people die and will later enjoy lavish "freedom!"

Let me just say: BULL SHIT!!

Personally I knew this would happen to Christians as a minority when all this instability started to erupt... personally I saw it coming, probably we as Christians all did... and personally I'm not gonna pretend I'm happy about this revolution just to fit in with the majority and avoid being attacked as a corrupt member of the "old regime!"

And I don't give a damn who is behind these attacks! I don't care if they're the Muslim Brotherhood, the Salfis, remains of the old regime, the mob, the police or even a bunch of WACKOS! I don't care if it's just a small group of uneducated people who lead to such events! The end result is the same!

And what are we doing about it?!? Waiting for the next attack to happen!

What I care about is that Christians are being killed day after day, using all sorts of random and retarded excuses... before who ever attacked a Christian was defined as mentality and emotionally unstable! - as if! And now, it's always about a woman who converted! Don't you think it's degrading to the human mind and to the pride of Christians when it's simplified to this extent!!!

And I still have to smile and state: it's not racism, it's not an attack on a minority group... I have to pretend I'm okay with it and I have to go along with the flow and say: we're fine, nothing is wrong, this is just a little political tension, some external foreign agenda, the "bad guys of the old regime are messing with our heads trying to mess up the love and stability, our beautiful coexistence....

Seriously again: BULL SHIT!!

Every time something happens... I look at this post and I ask myself: do I post it? Do I loose the fake face that I pull up of it being a phase bound to end... Do I risk upsetting good friends because I'm pissed!? But seriously enough is enough... things are really getting too far!

I won't speak about the previously unjustified attacks on Christians... like Jan 2010 Christmas Attack in Nag Hamady and the Jan 2011 New Year attack in Alex and the "mentality instable" who decided to shoot 4 Christians in a train... let's forget about these... let's speak post Jan. 25... after Egypt regained it's so called freedom!

Let's see "just the main" incidents that took place: the burning down of the Atfeeh Church... the attack on Christian residents in Mokattam... cutting the ear of a Christian man in Elmenia... the persistent roits that the Christian governor of Qena leaves... Pope Shenoda being openly insulted... reports on missing Christian girls... a Coptic Priest being killed in his home in upper Egypt... random rumors about girls who converted... direct announcements and threats to attack Christian churches, disgusting rumors about churches and priests... attacks on 2 churches in Imbaba... and yesterday the mob attacks Christian protesters! And trust me there is a lot more!

All this over 2 or 3 months! Seriously is this logical, acceptable or fair to anyone!!

Are we expected to live with it?

Make peace with those who offend us, kill us and cut off our ears!! Shake hands and pretend as if nothing happened?

Seriously when is it enough... people are dying every freakin' day and we still fail to accept that it is hate crime!

When did it become okay to verbally insult religious figures, when did attacking churches become identified as a phase of political tension... and we're supposed to smile about it and say it'll pass!

Seriously.. what the hell!

Do you have any idea how hurtful and painful it is to endure this?!?

I avoid speaking about the topic because I've reached a point where I'm not sure I'll be diplomatic and tolerant... I'm no longer sure I'll be able to maintain objectivity... and when we object, when we demand action... it's not the right time to mention religious discrimination in Egypt... Egypt has enough to handle!

- sigh!

If places were shifted... if Sheikhs were insulted and mosques were attacked... I'm sure things would have been TOTALLY different!

It is becoming ridiculous! Who knows which church is next?! When did it become okay to be scared while going to pray!??

The situation is becoming sickening... too sickening! It is shameful and disgusting... it is frightening... Every day is worst than the day before!

Egypt is supposed to be my "home" and this is not how a person is supposed to feel at home! This home has nothing to do with stability, security and safety! And as much as this is sad... as much as I am pissed off and I cannot hide it anymore!