Takes Something, Gives Something...

So life.. clearly and obviously doesn't give us everything we want. And ya.. sometimes we feel like nothing is going right.

However if we actually take time to realize... life isn't so unfair after all. I know I'm contradicting every other miserable post I've written... But fact is when life takes something, it gives you another.

I've lately been going through some dark and twisted phase. In the same time... God has sent me two guarding angels to be there for me every step of the way. Usually, if that had happened to me, I would have been absorbed in misery and sadness and even grief.


INSTEAD... 
I've really been blessed with two amazingly supportive, fun and understanding friends who are with me day in and out, morning and night, at work, outside, on the phone, on bbm, on Twitter... 24/7 distracting me, telling me that it's not the end of the world, that I deserve better and that things will get better.  It's like God sent them to me right before my problem so they can help me get through with it. 

They even make me laugh in my most difficult moments. Today I can't believe I laughed this much. The none stop kind of laughter. This would have never happened... I've been me for a while and I pretty much know I would have been sinking in depression, hating everyone and everything. I would have been crying and excluding myself on the side!

I can't explain how much I'm glad with this friendship and how much I truly value it... but I can honestly say if it weren't for them these days would have been unbearable. True I am upset and down from the way things may have turned out to me... but seriously it's going a lot better than I had expected. In the middle of all this, one of my hardest moments ever, I'm able to see something positive! 

Yesterday they got my an engraved bracelet that read: "May your days all be blessed with the presence of an angel watching over you!"

Ladies, you are my angels.

It may seem like a 6th grade corny best friends for ever necklace kind of thing to do. But it means the world to me.

Thanks! I mean it!

So ya life may take something but it sure does give another. It may take something that is replaceable but it gives you something that is for keeps.

Booba and Amy... you sure are for keeps!

Footprints in My Life...

Everyday we run into different people in life... these people leave varying prints in our life. Some are strong and some are less effective. However, everyone and anyone we meet and run into teaches us something. Something we may not notice... however we silently and unconsciously learn.  All this together, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we are our own creation, help shape who we are. These people may not know us, we might be observing them from afar yet they teach us something so true and so valuable. These people may not be aware our our deep passion and need to thank them... but fact is, our life wouldn't have been the same without them. We wouldn't have been the same without them. Some people leave strong prints in our life. Deep rooted prints that teach us clear lessons in life... A print we're aware of and learn from consciously with a smile on our face. A footprint too strong that we wish to learn from every single day... A footprint we're reminded with every single day because you look into the mirror and see its traces on your face and soul. This post is dedicated to the people who have really taught me something... people I owe something to... I admire and aspire to be like! 

Dad... my dad is a man of hard work and dedication. He's the kindda man that worked so hard to provide endlessly to all those who are around him. He's taught me that hard work is rewarded. That good things happen to those who work for it. That things don't come to you in crystal bowls and aren't fed to you in golden spoons. He's taught me that doing what's right is the safest, best and most efficient way to success. He's taught me to value honesty. To be able to say NO clearly and loudly to face of anything wrong. He continues to teach us everyday. Just 'cause you make money or have money doesn't mean you waste it. Doesn't mean you use it unwisely. That having money while not giving others and using it for good deeds is really wasted money. He taught me what it means and takes to be selfless! He taught me what it means to feel happiness in seeing the people around you happy. He's taught me that family is the most important thing in life! He's taught me that being a good person is a duty not a choice. Sometimes I work too hard, to show my dad that his investment in his kids has paid off. My dad didn't sit me down and talk me into those things... watching him day by day gave me the scruples and basis I live with today. And though some people see it as too traditional, too corny or too safe. I find pride in being like my Dad!

Mom... well where to start? I would honestly not know! My mom is the mom is wish to one day be. This should really sum it all up. My mom has done all she can to make us a happy family. She's the balance. The center. The core. Sometimes I just silently look at her with admiration. We sometimes go through a lot of thick and thin as a family, and if it were not for mom it don't assume we'd have gone through it. She's never complained... She's accepted everything with a smile and in silence. She's made sure her kids don't worry about a thing. She made sure we go on in life enjoying our childhood. As I grew up I realized how much my mom has gone through: the good, the bad, the unexpected. And it surprises me that I never saw her break down despite being one of the most sensitive people I've ever known. It surprises me that when I look back to my childhood I don't remember having any problems. My mom is a true example of someone who who has done endless sacrifice for her family. If anything went wrong, she'd make it up for us with her love and care. She's the kinnda mom I'd brag about, show off with in front of people. Tell them look who my mom is! She's knows everything going on with her kids. Pushes them forward. Wants to see them the best they could be. Still wakes up in the morning to make sure they have breakfast, if they need any help. Calls you to check on you in the middle of the day. She's my friend, my dearest friend! Without my mom, I wouldn't be me... something would be missing! Without my morning hug to mom, my day wouldn't go right! I'd do anything to make her smile & to see her happy. I can sit and talk to her for years... talk about her for ages...Currently I'm smiling talking about mom... wondering, are my words expressive enough to show how much she means to me, how much I love her & how much she taught me. I'd kill to be like my mom one day! If I ever get kids and I'm the mom to them that my mom was to me... they'd be super lucky! All the kindness, sensitivity, loyalty, sympathy and willingness to help without asking for anything in return IN ME, comes from Mom. One day I wish to be her! 

S. E. Hinton... the first time I realized I have a hero and role model was in 7th grade. I read a novel called, "The Outsiders," in school. A novel so true and simple and realistic and appealing. Every word she wrote touched my heart. Every word written felt so real. At the back of your head you could see it happening. For the first time I cared to flip to the "about the author" pages and was in shock to realized she wrote The Outsiders when she was 16! She wrote a novel that is taught in schools when she was 16. Do you realize the magnitude of this? It's pretty amazing! Anyways... that made me realize that you don't need to be old to write or start investing in a hobby or talent. At the age of 12, thanks to S. E. Hinton, I started writing. I set my passion free and enjoyed it! My admiration for S. E. Hinton also drove to read every single one of her books. And as soon as I finished a book it was automatically shifted yo my list of favorites! When all the books in the school library for Hinton were done I realized I couldn't live without reading. It became a thing that I burrow books from the library every single week. I'd read up to 3 novels a week. And for that, I thank Hinton... honestly! Because of this author I was gifted with my two most precious hobbies: reading and writing! Not just because they're enjoyable! But they really liberate anything that's on your mind whatever it is. Takes you with your thoughts and imagination elsewhere... sometimes, you wish to be left there! One day... who knows... may be my novel would be taught in school or placed in library and or on bookstore shelves! 

Miss Mais... well, you know those movies where this young high school teacher comes in changes lives! I'm glad to say this happened to me! In 9th grade I was lucky to have the funky, outta the box teacher that still managed to teach us well. She's my English teacher to whom I owe all my good vocabulary! Those impressive words I throw in once every now to show off I owe them to her. Ever since that class... I have a passion for teaching. It's one of my dreams that I hope to achieve. She's taught me that when your teacher picks on you and pushes you around it means that she's knows you've got potential. She made us do a daily diary, write anything... as long as you write daily. At the beginning I didn't know what to write, I was uncomfortable... but later it became part of my daily routine; couldn't let a day go by without writing. And everyday the quality and content of what I wrote got deeper. Sometimes I was even surprised with the stuff I wrote. I ask myself should I have really written that?! I still have that diary with me till today, and I read it from time to time and smile. I smile at the experience, the memory and my way of fitting in complex vocabulary in the middle of serious confessions (at least at that time they were). With time, Miss Mais became the first person to read my first story. She took the time to read it and edit every word of it although it wasn't related to any class material.That kind of teacher that took time to invest in her student's dreams and potential is the kind of teacher I hope to be one day... the teacher someone could write about 10 years later without her knowing! I hope I can find her again some day...

So... Dad, Mom, S. E. Hinton and Miss Mais... thanks is really the simplest and best way to end this! 

Laughing At Me...

So with years I've learned that the best technique to escaping an embarrassing situation is to laugh at yourself with the people rather than watching them laugh at you with humility... so here is a list of some of the embarrassing moments in my life, that I may have not laughed at back then... but now I say what the hell:

Having my shoe fly in the face of one of the hottest/cutest guys in school...

Always being compared to my older sis in school for being an angel... "why can't you just be like her?" 

Having my sister's name called instead of mine during MY school ceremonies simply because my teacher taught her before...
Being wrapped in aluminum foil for a school play because the custom designer was probably too lazy to design a custom and with every move I'd hear a crack and rip...

Actually being an alien in front of the entire school in senior year is more embarrassing...

Herd the expression circumcision in Arabic for the first time while I was in university and asking public ally out loud... "Dr. what do you mean by...," okie we all know participation isn't always impressive!

My economics professor telling me in front of the entire class: "ady da2ny law etgawezti (i.e. you're never getting married) because I couldn't answer the question: what are kitchen utensils made from... apparently he had vision, lol!
My first "set up" date, I remember the guy talking about himself throughout, none stop, so interrupted.... "I'm sorry when do I get to speak?" - awkward moment of silence! Not sure my friend ever tried setting my up again! 

This guy in school used to call me everyday to ask me what the homework was, my dad once picked up and told him, "it's impossible you never write the homework... starting writing, stop calling!" We were in 6th grade, talk about defamation to my social presence! Thank God we now have cell phones! 

I have a pair of driving shoes so I don't mess up the heels of my good shoes... anyways, I start walking down the street and everyone is giving me the weird look, so I give them the "what the hell is your problem" look..." I later realize I'm walking around with different shoe pairs..one blue and fancy and the other one is white and crappy!

First few weeks at work, I really had nothing to do... so I decided to watch the latest episode of Desperate Housewives to kill time. A person from IT walks in and says he needs to check something with the connection... thoughtlessly, I give him the laptop... only to find me watching two people making out on screen! I'm the new girl and I don't know what he thinks I watch in work! Good he left work! Lol!

So I was born and raised in Saudi, where women can't drive or do much. Anyways, it was the Egyptian/Arab Mother's day which happens to be in March and my dad was away and I really wanted to get my mom flowers! Anyways, I asked a friend to get me the followers to school 'cause I just can't drive around! He does a great job and gets them to me... he walks in first period with a big bouquet and asks my teacher, "can I speak to Madonna?" My teacher says, "we're in the middle of class." Once the guy leaves my teacher looks me at and asks, " did he have flowers?" So I'm like... yaaa... so he says, "Go Madonna... run after him.... these moments don't happen a lot in life!" Trust me it would have been more embarrassing if I said they were for my mom! 

Me and my friends decided to have a dish party and this time I told my mom, I'm cooking... you just rest! I ended up using hair oil instead of cooking oil! Crap! 

Every time I go anywhere and people know a "Madonna" exists in the room, they start faking the most American, cool accent and ask, "where is MadOnnnaaaA?" I raise my hand and the look on their face is like... "oh it's you... wutever!" You can tell they're were looking for a hot blondie! 

This is what I have in mind for now... may be later I do an embarrassing moment part 2 when I regain some of my memories

The GOOD People We Meet in Life...

Life is pretty random, ironic, frustrating and unfair!

I keep searching for positive stuff to write and I can't help but fall into the negativity trap! It just runs to me with arms wide open!

I even tried stepping away from my self and finding positive stuff to write... stuff I see in other people and my surroundings and I still spot on negativity... 

I have to admit that even when I rarely find something positive to write about, it's short and stupid and inexpressive... I fail to be positive and to express positivity... Perhaps I have not yet run into something that is positive enough to move me and get me writing passionately...

ANYWAY...
I've recently noticed some great people in life... (don't get your hopes up, this isn't positive, not even close) like good people... amazing people who are simply just GOOD inside out... 

YET...
Strangely enough... I've also noticed that these GOOD, awesome people don't seem to be getting what they deserve... These people need tons of love, care, passion, consideration, appreciation, warmth, and thankfulness for their mere presence in life. At least for the fact that they wish you good morning with a smile...

I don't know what's up with life being unfair! It's beyond me to understand why some jerks are surrounded by lots of loving people who are willing to give them everything and anything... and the real actual GOOD nice people are surrounded by others who don't value them or deserve them!

It's beyond me to understand why these nice people get a life of unhappiness... worry... and lack of emotional support. Why their expectations are never met! Why they keep getting let down once, twice, trice and forever... Why they're surrounded by jerks who just mistreat them and cause them pain and disappointment. Why aren't they appreciated and valued. Why does BAD LUCK just keep chasing them day in and day out! Why they get pushed around and treated like invisibles!

It's beyond me to understand why these GOOD people are the ones who end up heartbroken, who go to sleep at night crying or worrying about tomorrow, why they end up with husbands and wives who doesn't deserve them, kids who don't value them and friends who forget them... Why are they the ones who end up neglected and ignored!

It's beyond me to understand why some people choose to be rude and hurt someone who has been nothing but super nice to them!

It's beyond me to understand why some people emotionally SCREW up other who have always been there for them and are keen to never making them feel bad.

The list can really go on forever... 


Why can't life give them a damn break and give them a reason to keep going; to continue being good... make them feel that they weren't fools all along for being this GOOD, decent, nice, caring.... (this list can also go on forever)!

It honestly pisses me off! They just deserve so much more! I can't find the words to explain what they deserve... BUT for a fact they deserve a lot more from everyone around them! These people aren't good, they're GOLD! They deserve to be treated like they're kings and queens! They deserve to be surrounded by people who love them and are willing and capable of giving back to them, even when they don't ask for it!

Why can't life just do some freakin' mixing and matching for a change. Give the jerks to the jerks and the nice ones to the nice ones.

Life is unfair... it's a fact I learnt to be true with every single passing day. A fact that I've come to accept. I've also come to accept that thinking otherwise is naive and stupid. 

I have met GOOD people in my life... and if life and others choose to be jerks to them... I can at least try to be nice to them back until life does it's magic and treats them well one day... or so I hope! I also choose to believe that one day goodness will be paid off by life! AT LEAST, it's a reason to keep going!

SIGH!