Music To My Ears...

So I love listening to music... again, let me make it clear... I love LISTENING not HEARING music...

Hearing means it's a background beat... don't get me wrong beats are crucial... but to me words count... wordless musicals don't leave the same print on my soul! I relate more to lyrics... I feel better using literal words to explain how I feel! That's why to me lyrics makes or breaks a song! Therefore I'm keen to listen to what a song really has to say!

Listening to lyrics and going away with your mind and emotions elsewhere... listening and saying: how come this song says exactly how I feel... is an AWESOME feeling!

Sometimes I feel we listen to lyrics only when we want to... sometimes I hear a song for years and years to go and then one day on my drive back home, I actually listen to it for the first time ever! I realize I never really listened to the words! Never knew it meant that way... and I just get overwhelmed... 'cause I realize the lyrics are great! They make the song... they change the way you hear it!

Music just takes you elsewhere... lyrics tells you you're not the only feeling a certain way... it tells you, it's okay to feel this way... it's with you when you're upset, cheers you up when you're down... it's with you in every occasion... from your birthday, to your break up, to your graduation... all the way to your first dance...

We create memories around songs... sometimes we hear a song and it takes us back somewhere we left a long time ago... brings back images, feelings and scents... reminds of things... and even if they're memories you prefer to forget... deep down this time shift and drift back in time... this nostalgic moment... makes you smile... even if it's not on the outside... you smile on the inside...

There are some verses that really make me feel different inside... some verses that I can hear over and over and over again... non-stop... enjoying them every single time as if I'm hearing them for the very first time!

Music could be be the only language spoken... it's amazing...

What counts is to listen... listen to the words and allow them take you elsewhere...

“Without music, life would be a mistake..." Friedrich Nietzsche - This quote is TRUE!

April...

I absolutely HATE waiting... as in hate that comes from the bottom of the heart! Deeply rooted hate! Waiting is like KILLING me softly and slooOOoowly!

Waiting means I create all possible scenarios in my mind and I keep saying "what if" "what if" "what if" till I go crazy! It means all the negative things come to mind... it means I worry... It means I expect the worst... It means I'm frustrated till I know answers and outcomes to what I'm waiting for! It means uncertainty...

It simply means I'm waiting for something UNKNOWN... and I hate that!

True it is sometimes exciting... depending really on what it is we are waiting for, but mostly it's just annoying! This urge and the mental "push and pull" we go through while waiting is absolutely a hectic KILLER...

It's even a bigger problem when you get bummed out and disappointed after the wait... when the worst actually happens... when what you fearED becomes an absolute reality that you have no choice but to deal with...

BUT I got to say it is quite amazing when the wait ends with rewards, happiness, cheerfulness and optimism!

April 2011 is by far my biggest challenge ever when it comes to waiting. I helplessly have to wait until April ends in order to feel better! All I CAN DO is WAIT!

April needs to go by...I'm edgy, moody, tensed, pissed, tired and on the verge of exploding... I'm making up the simplest excuses to loose it... the simplest excuses to snap...

I need April to come to a peaceful end... I'm hoping this wait like all other "amazing" waits ends with rewards, happiness, cheerfulness and optimism!

-Sigh!

Photos...

There are two types of photos...

There are photos we paint as illusions in our minds... they represent our dreams of how we hope something would turn out to be...

These photos are the usually beautiful, lavish and imaginative ... they takes us with our thoughts and feelings elsewhere... they lift us up when we're down... they convince us deep down that there is light at the end of the tunnel... they tell us that despite of anything things will get better and will one day turn out the way we wanted...

True... sometimes we're disappointed when these photos are never reached and framed into reality... but we cannot live without them. These unrealistic photos are sometimes what gives us the strength to move on... they give us reasons and excuses because we hope we reach these imaginary lives at the end...

The other type of photos are actual pictures we have in albums... they represent our special moments and valued memories. They help us remember good times when we're nostalgic...

These pictures also help us move on when we're down because when we look back at them we know that family warmth always gives us a feeling of security, that loyal friends exist, that every Christmas you smile helplessly, that birthdays are a time of love, that you've achieved a lot, learned a lot... simply you see proof that good things do happen!

As much as these pictures show you how much time has passed... they remind you that there were a lot of good times...

We can't live without both types of photos... some of them are dreams which we hope they turn into a reality.... and others are reflections of the best times in our lives... both are essential for us...

Photos are very special... I love taking photos and creating photos of what my future can be!

The Focal Point Of Our Lives…

I don’t know if this is true for others, applicable across cultures or equally valid for guys… but why is it that I feel our entire life revolves around finding the right partner!

I’m not denying that I’d love to run into the right guy… ‘cause I’d love that!

But why is it taking too much out of our thoughts and feelings?!?

I have no answer for this question… I’m just wondering out loud… so if any of you have suggestions; don’t hesitate to fill me in! But I noticed that whenever we girls get together this issue takes up a lot of our mental space!

We live to visualize what life with that significant other would be like! We create dreams and wait for them to turn into reality...

But the fact that our life revolves around finding the significant others just makes everything else seem like it’s not enough… you don’t enjoy it… like something is always missing!

Maybe I’m wrong… but sometimes I feel I’ve achieved a lot in my life… not a lot as in worldwide, recognized achievements, but I haven’t done so bad and I’m still not satisfied and I still feel finding that significant other might be the element that will complete the picture…

And I wonder, when that significant other is found, when the life partner is there… will I get that feeling of completeness? Will it be worth the wait? Will it really be the beginning of my dream of a perfect life? Or will I have another focal point around which my life exits!

Or is the focal point of our lives… the lack of satisfaction of where we are at the moment and what we have!

Honestly, I really have no clue!