The Legitimate Wait...

So... basically in this post I'm asking for your opinion... I'm trying to figure out when do we say we've been waiting enough?


When does a person feel it's legitimate to pull the plug?


Let me be more clear! I'm just trying to find out when does a person feel it's okay to let go of a certain dream, goal or person... When do you let go without a fear that you've given up... When are you certain that you've really done all you can and there is no room for more what ifs?


Is there a legitimate time span or is not related to time? Can we claim that after a certain period of time it's okay to give up?


Does a person ever reach that point of satisfaction where they're certain they've done all they can do? Does this point even exist... 


How do we deal with the guilt conscious that keeps telling you that you've simply chosen the easy way out and gave up?


Is it right to keep trying and waiting for things to happen or is this a true denial of failure?


When does strong will to get to something or someone turn into stupidity, stubbornness and a lack of understanding of reality?


How many times should a person try to reach a goal? How many chances does a person give someone? How many odds should we stand against to achieve what we want?


How long does it take to finally admit to ourselves that it's time to let go?


Sometimes I feel it's okay to give up... knowing when to let go can sometimes be the right decision... That despite a strong desire to achieve something, you're actually showing more strength by letting it go...


My problem is that I don't know how to let go! I feel if I want something deep down I should never stop working hard to get it! However... sometimes it's just NOT meant to happen! Sometimes the more we try the harder achieving it becomes. 


So I'm asking YOU... when does it become okay to let go and give up on something or someone? What is the "legitimate wait?"

The BIGGEST Miracle Of All Times...

So... previously I've posted an entry called April (http://bit.ly/fDCffK) and I've spoken in it about how the month of April 2011 would be my biggest challenge in life so far when it comes to waiting…

And although “the wait” wasn't easy and was more than hectic… I have to say that gladly April 2011 is over… and that the end of the wait was positive…

But the real miracle isn't in the positive ending… Of course the positive ending is a relief and rewarding… and I’m very thankful for it…

BUT...

The actual miracle comes in the power of prayers being answered! Throughout April, me and others have been praying for a positive ending for “the wait” and the fact that despite all odds and despite the difficulty of a positive ending actually happening that things still did go well just means that prayers have been answered!

And the biggest miracle of all… and the most rewarding and fulfilling feeling comes when you feel that Someone is listening… Someone greater than everything, bigger than all these odds has actually listened to your prayers and answered them positively…

I believe the BIGGEST miracle of all times is when you pray for something, and regardless of the outcome, positive or negative, you feel that God has been listening!

I seriously have to say… "Thank You Lord!"

April...

I absolutely HATE waiting... as in hate that comes from the bottom of the heart! Deeply rooted hate! Waiting is like KILLING me softly and slooOOoowly!

Waiting means I create all possible scenarios in my mind and I keep saying "what if" "what if" "what if" till I go crazy! It means all the negative things come to mind... it means I worry... It means I expect the worst... It means I'm frustrated till I know answers and outcomes to what I'm waiting for! It means uncertainty...

It simply means I'm waiting for something UNKNOWN... and I hate that!

True it is sometimes exciting... depending really on what it is we are waiting for, but mostly it's just annoying! This urge and the mental "push and pull" we go through while waiting is absolutely a hectic KILLER...

It's even a bigger problem when you get bummed out and disappointed after the wait... when the worst actually happens... when what you fearED becomes an absolute reality that you have no choice but to deal with...

BUT I got to say it is quite amazing when the wait ends with rewards, happiness, cheerfulness and optimism!

April 2011 is by far my biggest challenge ever when it comes to waiting. I helplessly have to wait until April ends in order to feel better! All I CAN DO is WAIT!

April needs to go by...I'm edgy, moody, tensed, pissed, tired and on the verge of exploding... I'm making up the simplest excuses to loose it... the simplest excuses to snap...

I need April to come to a peaceful end... I'm hoping this wait like all other "amazing" waits ends with rewards, happiness, cheerfulness and optimism!

-Sigh!

Growing Older…

How does someone grow older?

Is it age? Sometimes I feel it has to do with age… I mean the day I turned 20 I wasn't too excited… and definitely the day I turned 25 wasn't thrilling at all!

However I realized that age isn’t always the indication of growing older…

I mean… there are days when I’m 25 and I feel younger than days when I was 22… if you get what I mean!

And those days when I feel young... I ask myself, why can't I just be that person everyday!? And the answer, I really dunno... I end up being old and grumpy uncontrollably! Like I'm helpless towards this disgusting feeling!

I feel growing older is a state of mind and emotions… Growing older means you worry yourself too much, you push yourself harder than you should, you punish yourself and you judge yourself harsher…

The more we immerse ourselves into problems, the older we get…

The more we worry, the older we get…

When we can’t careless and the weight keeps getting heavier; the older we get…

Telling yourself that you can’t do this because you’re not young anymore is the first sign of growing older…You convince yourself that you’ve grown when you haven’t…

You see yourself as old… although no one else does!

I figured that you can actually be young and spontaneous till the last day of your life… not immature… but young!

Laugh...

Sing...

Dance...

Go out...

Travel...

Take things as they come...

Worry less...

Believe it’ll work out on its own...

Let go of whatever it is that holds you back and makes you feel that way...

Do something stupid every now and then...

Stop being serious all the time...

Don't beat up yourself for things you cannot change...

Stop carrying more than you can hold...

I don’t claim I do that… on the contrary I do the exact opposite… and it pisses me off!

Lately I always feel old… Older than I am… Older than I should be… Emotionally and mentally older… I feel older than I deserve to be... Older than I owe it myself...

I even end up looking and sounding older than I am... people place me into this boring category!

And that just… makes me feel even sadder and hence… older! – sigh!