FOCUS at the Time of Trouble...

So everyone in Egypt is fully distracted with all that's happening in the country... I completely and fully understand. I wake up and go to work and part of my mind and heart are elsewhere. I'm worried about the destiny of my country and I'm worried about my future in it.

However, using the current events as an excuse to slack off is really unacceptable! Using the fact that you go to Tahrir and fight for a cause to mess up at work, not be there and perform with carelessness really kills out what you're doing in Tahrir. It's like you're not doing anything! You're trying to fix something, but you're completely screwing the other!

People are fighting for a cause in order to see Egypt move forward; moving forward includes that you  do your job. Doing our jobs is the first and foremost ingredient to this country's success.

I understand there is a lot of blame on the system and government for the deterioration that has taken place over the last few months; however, when people leave their jobs and engage full time in demonstrations this pulls back our economy as well. Let alone freaks out tourists; kills the stock market; allow for chaos; increase debts... should I really go on? And above all, we ask for higher pays!

I'm really annoyed that people are using Tahrir and current events as an excuse to not working! I am distracted,  and it's hard to concentrate with all that is happening, but I still do my job! I force myself to concentrate and perform well for the sake of productivity!!

We can always go after working hours! The square is still there! Waiting for us!

I don't know about you guys; may be some people feel they're fighting for a bigger cause and I totally support the cause! BUT Egypt, for whom all this is happening, is going down the drain and this is freaking me out!

I believe that in time of trouble, as good citizens we need to FOCUS, WORK and be PRODUCTIVE in order to pull Egypt out of the mess its in.

If we want to go to Tahrir to create a revolution, let's do our part first. Do it right and do what is expected of us and then start pointing fingers at those who are not doing their jobs! When you've done your job, at least you have a right to judge others for what they do. If, and only if, you do that... then it's your right to STRIKE!

GIRL in Egypt...

So, let me start by saying this post is not a generalization. BUT at least it is a representation of ME and a few friends I know...

I've realized that as a girl in Egypt, our culture really deprives me from living the life of my dreams. Perhaps this is not the perfect timing to discuss this issue, however, the current situation in Egypt has really driven me to get out these thoughts on paper. Hence, to explain to you what I mean, I'm using the revolution in Egypt as an example.

I really wanted to experience going to Tahrir Square during the January 25 Revolution and my parents decided it is not safe for me as a girl to go. A whole revolution took place in Egypt and it is as if I was in a completely different country. I will not lie or kid myself, most of my desire to go was pushed by curiosity the first time. I wanted to know what Tahrir was all about. I wasn't really upset when I missed going because we were busy discovering what was going on. We had no clue where we were heading. We had a lot to keep us busy and may be I wasn't too sure being in Tahrir was really effective or that it would bring about change!

However, today, I really have a strong urge to go, for a cause, because I really want to say that nothing has really changed, that we're still where we are, just a different disguise. Because I'm sick and tired of what is going on, Egypt is moving from one disaster into another and we're really being treated like fools! Because I really want to have say... because I hate feeling like I'm passive. I want to be like one of these girls in the pictures!

And AGAIN my parents would never let me go! It's as if going would bring them a heart attack, or I'm insane to ask for it, like I'm kidding, it won't happen in a million years! And AGAIN it's like I'm in a different country, like Tahrir is somewhere else! I can't even imagine or visualize the experience. I feel detached from reality and what's happening in my country. I want to feel the adrenaline rush that comes with being in Tahrir Square. I want to expereince what it is like to fight for what I believe in and want. I want to be proactive and participate! And since I have a cause this time, I'm honestly pissed off that I'm stuck at home! It's annoying! I seriously feel restricted.

I mean my life is going on perfectly well as if nothing is happening and people are dying for a cause less than 30 kilometers away! Don't I at least deserve to witness that! A simple right I suppose, to see the change in my country that's making history. Think about it, years from now my kids are studying history and they ask me: Mom where you when all this happened? What were you doing? And my answer will be:  Oh dear, since I'm a woman, I was on the couch watching the news! ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDING ME!?

Not just that, you think when you grow up and be independent you get to have a say in the life you run for yourself. Let me tell you this is a load of crap! You, as a girl, probably NEVER get independent in this messed up culture!  I'm a real life witness to girls of different ages; older and younger than me and their parents are not allowing them to go as well! Not only that, I know married women whom their husbands are not letting them go either! Even more aggravating, our male friends think it's funny that we want to go and participate in Tahrir! They think we can't run for our lives, that we should go ONLY when things are chilled and fun! I think the pictures on top are a serious example that not all girls go to Tahrir Square to party, brag about being there or take profile pictures! So let me ask: Seriously What the HELL? 

This is just ONE example! You can really apply this to any decision in our life. Our parents, culture, friends, husbands... or WHOEVER really restrict us from doing what we want! What ever it is, you name it, we need to get their approval first, just because we're women. What we work, the places we go, the way we talk, what we say, the friends we have, the clothes we wear, where we travel, when we travel... practically everything is restricted! It's retarded! Seriously as if I'm living someone else is life! If I'm given the choice, I'd run my life a completely different way! 

Sometimes I even hope I never give birth to girls in this culture because it is really a killer!

So let me ask... in this country, in this culture WHEN do I get to do what I want? When do I live the life I want? If I have to keep getting the approval of my parents till I'm married, even if I have to wait till I'm 40 and then I have to wait to get the approval of my husband, if I get married; WHEN does what I want kick in? When do I get to have a say in MY own life! 

~Sigh!

FACE Your Relationship Issues!

So by now we are all sure I'm not quite the pro on relationships, however I'm good at observing... and listening to surrounding stories! Hence, I came up with the conclusion that relationships have becomes digitally influenced. What happens via social media and particularly Facebook really takes its toll on our relationships and emotions... Usually causing problems! 

We sit and analyze what people do digitally and make all these random assumptions and most probably they screw up our minds BIG time! And I gotta say, I know this happens with girls... boys I'm not so sure, but I'm guessing it happens or they know how to use it well against us very well knowing how we think!

For instance, here are some situations I've seen, heard or been through...

• OMG he is no longer single, does this mean he's dating?
• OMG I can't click on his picture anymore; did he put me on limited profile!
• His status on Facebook says "thinking" does this mean he's considering what I said!
• His status says "fed up," I think he gave up on me! 
• He wrote relieved, it means he's glad it's over!
• I can't believe we just finished arguing and he posted a Mafia Wars or Texas HoldEm Poker update! He really doesn't care! He's been playing while we argued! 
• Who's the girl who has been clicking Like on everything he says!?
• He just wrote he's happy, it means he's with someone else! 
• I checked his quotes, he's become so deep; you think he's changed, I think I stand a chance with him... 
• Since when is he into CityVille and FarmVille, he must be too bored without me! Or maybe that other girl is making him soften up! 
• He has a new friend on Facebook, I wonder who she is! How did they meet!
• OMG, I just realized he's been on Twitter, his tweets show on FB... he never told me he created an account or followed me! He must be hiding or something! Or he doesn't want to be my "friend" anymore
• His status is "worried" should I call and check up on him. 
• His Facebook relationship status is "it's complicated" maybe he's breaking up with his girlfriend and I should call him and be there for him! 
• He just posted a link to Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here," I think he misses me...
• He just commented on his friends pic, it means he's online, why isn't he answering me..
• You're mad at him you "un-friend" him on Facebook, you're back talking you "add him again" 
• You wanna bug him after a fight you change your status to "single"
• Others posts pics so you figure out he's gone out and not told you, or gone out with "girls" you don't like... 

Even more, the FIRST thing we do if engaged or married is update our relationship status for the world to know!

It's really endLESS... The non-stop scenarios we create to try and figure out what's going in with the other person makes us use Facebook to: spy on the guy if we're together, know his updates if we're broken up; see if he hooked up with someone when we're playing hard to get; criticize the guy if we hate him; know anything about him when we miss him; find reasons to hate him when we want OR find reasons to get back in touch with him when we need it... AS IF Every single thing he posts is an indirect message to us! 

True, what ever we guess could be true! But it could be that Facebook settings have changed and you just can't click on his picture; or he is thinking about a new job post; or he's fed up with traffic; he's happy 'cause he had a nice night out with friends; or the new girl he added is someone from work; or his quotes have always been there and you haven't seen them; or he's just bored and found a new interest in Facebook games; or he JUST felt like listening to Pink Floyd!

There is just a million different explanation!

I donno about you guys, but when it comes to relationships so far Facebook just messes things up! And when girls get together and talk... seriously, Facebook plays a major role in their relationships, love life and particularly fights!

The same happens with BBM's and Wats App statuses... we've really come to use technology in ways that frustrate us. Rather than making our life easier for us, they make them worst! It's already enough technology is messing up our face to face and direct relationships, we don't need to make it worst by playing guessing games that bring the worst out of us. 

Well the saying has been going around and I think it's really true... we need to FACE our problems rather than FACEBOOK them! Or at least we shouldn't use FACEBOOK to complicate things for our selves and mess up our brains with random ideas! It would really be easier to get up and make a clear cut effort in trying to find out about the lives of the people who matter to us 'cause clearly, all these nonsense we do, simply mean we still care!  It makes sense to me rather than just guessing stuff and crying about things we're not sure they even exist!

~ before you shoot me, I KNOW, sometimes all we've got is guessing, but it's just hectic! 

See to Believe...

We are often told a piece of information... and who ever shares it with us, assures us that it is true! Yet, for some unknown reason, we subconsciously refuse to believe it to be true...

We choose to live in denial either because what we've herd is just damn impossible or because what we believe just makes us feel a lot better than reality. Or maybe we fool ourselves by still believing in our gut feelings, which keeps nagging about how much whatever we believe is true! Even more, you could be someone like me who just has massive issues letting go!

And speaking from personal experience this denial can last for days, weeks or EVEN months... up UNTIL we get the wake UP call! We keep fighting and fighting the truth, searching for ways to defy it and prove it wrong... until we reach something! And this something, usually the ugly moment of truth, slaps us hard on the face! It tells you bluntly and clearly that what you've actually denied has always been TRUE!

I wish I believe things when I HEAR them... that would be easier and less hurtful! But to wait till I SEE things... this direct encounter with the truth... hurts more! If we just believe it from day one, we'd save ourselves from this harsh confrontation with reality!

Point is... our choices makes up end up here! All we can hope for, is to one day learn the lesson! 

                                                                              

~Sigh!

The Bright Side...

We often get gloomy and depressed, we often decide that the world is such a dark and twisted place! Okie, let me rephrase! I often think the work is dark and twisted! I loose sight of all the good stuff that could have happened in my life... and the good stuff that continue to happen every single day.

Anyhow... sometimes I get those moments when I start cursing my entire life from the moment it started... I don't see except all the bad stuff! It seriously drains me!

But then a little thing happens and it reminds me with all the great stuff in my life.

SO what's the little thing that happened!? Well my brother posted the below picture to my Facebook wall... and it really got me to remember my life as a little kid! I used to do this! My childhood was awesome! My childhood is just one of the pretty amazing things in my life!

Let me just list a few of the things that we stop noticing after a while because they have become inevitable:

My great family...
That my mom still hugs me every morning when I wake up...
My good health...
My amazing childhood memories...
The fact that I have all my needs...
The fact that I can get most of my wants...
My education...
My friends...
That most nights I get a good night's sleep...
That in the end of the day, there are no massive problems to worry me or keep me up all night...
Actually, the fact that I've got a cozy bed at home waiting for me every night... 
That I can still smile...
That regardless of what I say and how much I whine, I do have people who care about me...
That I've got a brother who'd remember me when he sees a picture like this.. would send it to me 'cause he know it would make my day...

Point is those things have become part of our routines so we don't realize their importance. We don't realize that those little things are what keep us going. That if they're gone we'd realize the impact they have on our lives.

If every time we get gloomy, enter into the dark and twisted depressed mood... IF we take the moment to remember at least 1 of those little things that make us happy, or at least make us smile... trust me, things would be bright again!

Procrastination Queen...

I think if there is an award for the number one world procrastinator I would really have a BIG shot at winning. I honestly have a major problem at getting important things done. I manage to waste time pretty much doing everything and anything except what I should be doing...

Let's take today as an example... I woke up 9:30 a.m. with a 100% intention that I'd focus on my thesis... I promised myself I'd make use of this week, that God has gifted me with, in order to finish my thesis... So my agenda for today's thesis included:

• Reviewing at least a 100 surveys in order to remove invalid ones
• Data entry of at least 80 surveys 
• Reviewing my intro and literature review for spelling and grammatical errors

I've promised myself that I'd get this done, and if I finish those I'd take the rest of the day off, have a little fun and do my 1 hour workout that I promised myself I'd do...

Anyhow, it's 4:40 pm and this is what I've done so far in my day:

• 10:00 - 10:30 fooling around with my sister's new iPad
• 10:30 - 10:45 drinking coffee
• 10:45 - 12:00 decided I'd re-design how my blog looks
• 12:00 - 12:30 walking around home, talking to family, eating a banana 
• 12:-30 - 1:20 watching latest episode of Desperate Housewives
• 1:20 - 2:00 Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 2:00 - 3:00 lunch 
• 3:00 - 3:45 watching yesterday's Grey's Anatomy episode
• 3:45 - 4:15 FINALLY I reviewed 20 surveys
• 4:15 - 4:35 coffee "break" and more Facebook-ing and Twitter-ing 
• 4:35 - now since my status was on FB and Twitter was that I'm a pro at wasting time, I ended up here, writing this...

So... Ya... I'm the queen of procrastination... Sadly, I can't even being to explain how much I need to focus and get my work done... I honestly have to. This 10 day holiday is really my savior to finishing my Masters and I have to use it well.. 

Point is, when I end up wasting time, neither do I get the job done nor do I have fun. I'm just stuck at home under the illusion that I'm working, when I'm not. So really, if I'm home, I should get it done.. If I plan to procrastinate, I should just get up, go out and have some real fun!

Needless to say that I just bought a novel on Wednesday and it's sitting right next to me now and I'm fighting temptation not to grab it and start reading!

Now that I've let out my anger towards my poor time management skills, I'm hoping I really get back and do what I planned for to do at the beginning of this day.

And I hope I get my one hour workout! I need it too! 

C ya :) 

~ Let's say it would take me another 15 mins to color and format this post... plus I hear some fight in the street that I'm going to check out. Hopefully by 5 pm, I'll be back on track! At least I'm a queen at something, lol! 

Mom To The Rescue!

Yay! I've a super mommy :) As kiddish as it sounds, my mom isn't just my super hero, she's an amazing person. Yesterday, my mom rescued a little kid, or rather a baby, at the mall. Just, how awesome is that! 

So we were at the mall, me, mom and my sister, we were walking out of a a shop when I spotted a young mother freaking out and screaming for help. Her baby was choking. She froze, thoughtless, not doing a thing!

I asked my mom if she could help her. My mom, didn't think twice, she ran off to help her and asked what's wrong. The kid, who was less than a year old probably, was eating a biscuit and choked on it. He was starting to turn blue!

His mom was really freaking out. She started crying and wasn't really doing much to help! She was just standing there in disbelief... motionless!

I don't know what mom did, but apparently all her parenting skills and experiences kicked in in the right moment. She knew how to carry the baby. She tapped him on the back, and she managed  to let him spit out the biscuit. And it was a big chunk. He was pinking again, regaining color and breathe!

Once the baby spat it out, my mom hugged him tightly, showered him with kisses, telling him it was okay. And for a baby who doesn't know mom at all, I gotta say he felt safe and clutched on to her!

Even more mom managed to make his mother calm down. She assured her that he's okay and will be okay. She told her not to worry... She even continued to hold the baby tightly until his mom gained composure....

And everyone at at the mall was looking at my mommy like she's a hero! The baby's mom thanked her over a million time. His dad showed up a few moments and thanked mom even more! It was amazing... a lot of people were passing by, no one really cared to stop and help her... but my mom did! And it was great! She was there at the right time and right place.

It was actually a pretty emotional moment....

Seeing mom do this with a strange kid got me thinking... I must have have been really lucky as a little kid! She honestly showered him with care, love and attention. So being her kid, I can't even assume what she must have been like! Actually, I can.... 'cause my mom still showers me with love, care and attention all the time.

One day, I hope to be like her... actually, I can't wait to have my own kids and be like her :)
My mom is a Super Mommy!